Stick Figure Pirates & Flying Monkeys

Post-Bulletin Reader Comment

2006-12-21T20:00:00.000-06:00

Well it appears that our friends in the great city of Rochester have a thing or two to say about Monday's front page article featuring the rising cost of attending college and my future/current debt. Since you need a subscription ($99 per year) in order to comment on an online story at the Post-Bulletin website, its best to respond to these via Blogger because it's free which means you don't have to pay anything to attack people.

[User]195801 - 12/19/2006
"I worked 70+ hours a week during the summers and made enough to cover tuition. Pretty much a zombie for 3 months. Between that and working maybe 20 hours a week while going to school I ended up with zero debt. That was paying U of M tuition. Not to judge a book by it's cover, but that kid doesn't look like the 70+ hour a week type of guy. Quit your whining and get a job. Kids today want everything handed to them. Why not buy them cars and houses too?"

Well it looks like this person (who has graced us with their anonymity) is still stuck in their "zombie" state because if they pay any attention to today's tuition costs for a public institution in the state of Minnesota they will know that it has increased well over 50% over the past five years. Why is this though?! Could it be that the state is cutting the budgets for MnSCU and the University of Minnesota?? Naw, couldn't be...

Sorry that we're trying to get the legislature to hold to its obligation to fund state higher ed institutions with providing for 67% of the cost of instruction (MN Statute 135A.01). Right now anyone attending a MnSCU institution will know that this isn't happening, just check out your fee statement. Things are different now than when you attend the U of M back in the late 1970s.

No, I don't want everything handed to me nor do I expect everything handed to me. I want to attend a public institution and apply what I learned while obtaining my degree to improving our state and country, is that too much to ask?

Oh, sorry I didn't wear my Carhartt and Dickies for the picture because we all know that we need to dress in work clothes in order to look like we've put in a hard days work. I'll remember that blue track jackets are not proper"working clothes."

Want to read more on what others have to say on what's wrong with making college education accessible and affordable? Visit the article by click here. But remember, you need money in order to bitch properly.

Also, be sure to check out the You Bet We're in Debt website set up by the WSU Student Senate. Look for yourself and see the impact of rising tuition on Winona State students.

Someone's in debt...

2006-12-19T14:23:00.000-06:00

This article appear on the front page lead story in the December 18, 2006 edition of the Rochester Post-Bulletin:

Debt load burdens students

By Matthew Stolle

The Post-Bulletin

When Jared Stene graduates from Winona State University, looming over his future will be something of a black cloud: a staggering student debt of $48,000.

Although the Woodbury native is considering graduate or law school, he said the pressure to begin paying down that debt might short-circuit those plans and force him to find a job immediately.

Students across the state have begun to groan under the weight of their debt load, if a Web page set up by the WSU student leaders is any indication. The page allows students to log the amount of debt they expect to incur by the time they graduate. Numbers range from $4,000 to $120,000. The total amount of accumulated debt so far at WSU: $7.7 million.

"It's really simple: This state has reneged on its commitment" to affordable higher education, said DFL Sen.-elect Ann Lynch, a Rochester legislator who will serve on the Senate Higher Education Policy and Finance division.

The growing debt load of students will be a high-profile issue during the 2007 session, which begins Jan. 3. DFLers blame Gov. Tim Pawlenty for the 50 percent hike in student tuition over the last four years, arguing that his fixation on no-new-taxes came at the expense of students' financial hides.

Pawlenty also threw himself into the debate during the election campaign, proposing free tuition for students in their first two years for students who graduate in the top 25 percent of their high school graduating classes.

Students with the Minnesota State University Student Association are asking legislators for a tuition freeze in the next biennium. But the Minnesota State Colleges and Universities system is shooting for something a little less ambitious: Its budget request is seeking a system-wide 4 percent tuition cap.

"It would ultimately be less (of an increase) than what we've been going through," Stene said. "It (will) keep it lower, but ultimately, we would like a freeze."

So I made the front page in Rochester, also that "lovely" picture was with the article. That's my blue steel look...

The Winona County Auditor's Race Results

2006-11-16T14:32:00.000-06:00

There has been a lot of discussion lately about my 12-hour Election Day write-in campaign for Winona County Auditor. Most questions I have been getting is how many votes did I end up getting and have I conceded the election yet? To answer the second question, yes it is official, I have conceded the race today in an email sent to the current Winona County Auditor Cherie MacLennan. Here is the email concession:

From: Jared Stene jpstene@gmail.com
Date: Nov 16, 2006 1:44 PM
Subject: Auditor Election
To: cmaclennan@co.winona.mn.us

Auditor MacLennan-

I would like to congratulate you on your recent re-election to the Winona County Auditor position. As you may or may not know there was a brief 12 hour Election Day campaign on the WSU campus for another candidate for the County Auditor position, that other candidate would be me. I would like to officially notify you that I am conceding this race. Although my campaign staff and I did not have the proper insight to file the proper write-in campaign papers, we feel that our last minute campaign generated at least 40 votes in about five different precincts including one vote in Wiscoy Township. I was inspired to run for county auditor at 8:30 am on November 7. Our campaign consisted of word of mouth, electronic notification via social networking websites, and phone calls. So again, I congratulate you on your re-election! I would of conceded earlier but wanted to take time and reflect on the matter first. Thank you and have a nice day!

Jared Stene

So as you read in the email we have no idea how many votes I got on Election Day only because there needs to be an intent to do a write-in campaign filed with the Auditor's office PRIOR to Election Day. This did not happen in the Jared Stene for Winona County Auditor's campaign. In the State of Minnesota all write-in votes are counted as "write-in" by the machines, the machines do not record who that write-in vote is for. Instead you need to file paper work so that way the election judges can count the write-in votes instead of just leaving them as "write-in."

According to the Minnesota Secretary of State's Election Reporting System website the results of the Winona County Auditor's race is as follows:

Nonpartisan CHERIE MACLENNAN 15946 99.14%
Write-In WRITE-IN** 138 0.86%

Now if you notice the write-in candidates experienced electoral domination by MacLennan. But how do we know how many votes I got? Well the real answer is that we will never know, however we can examine the results from the WSU precincts and assume that those votes were for Jared Stene.

Write-In Votes for Winona State University Area Precincts:
Ward 2 Precinct 1 (WSU West Campus): 6
Ward 2 Precinct 4 (Student Neighborhood): 8
Ward 3 Precinct 1 (WSU Main Campus): 17
Ward 3 Precinct 2 (Student Neighborhood): 9
Ward 3 Precinct 3 (WSU East Lake): 10
Wiscoy Township**: 1
TOTAL for Winona County Auditor***: 52

**Wiscoy Township is not near WSU campus, I talked with a student who is from there and voted there.

***UPDATE: I was informed by a SFP & FM reader and Jared Stene for Winona County Auditor supporter that she vote for me in Ward 2 Precinct 2. After looking into the results there I am not entirely sure if I can add the entire write-in vote total of 11 write-in votes for that precinct because I believe there is a healthy mix of students and Winona residents in that area. Most of our campaign reached out to WSU students, there was some Winona residents who supported me but the majority of the campaign was focused WSU students which is the reasoning behind selecting the WSU precincts for my projected vote count. But I have updated my total vote count from 51 to 52!

Also check out this article I found on The Onion.com: Write-In Candidate

Electionpalooza continued....

2006-11-07T10:39:00.000-06:00

The only candidate this blog will endorse this heated Election year is Jared Stene. That's right! I have decided to launch a last minute campaign for Winona County Auditor!

I feel the current auditor can do a better job in facilitating and promoting the Election and registration process to all of Winona County. We've been mostly running a word of mouth campaign via email, AIM, facebook, etc.

When you write in candidates for any race, make sure you fill in the oval next to the write in name. You see, I am already informing you about the voting process! Have you seen my opponent informing you on the election process? NO.

So write-in Jared Stene for Winona County Auditor, the Auditor part of the ballot is on the front page, lower right hand corner. Thank you for your support!

Electionpalozza!!!

2006-11-07T02:00:00.000-06:00

So I stumbled over this niffty thing MPR is offering, free election result tracking on your own blog! WOW! Why not eh?? You can view all the top races as well as races from Winona and Senate District 18 on the right.

Also if you have any questions about where to vote in Winona or need help figuring things out with same day registration feel free to call the WSU Student Senate office at 507-457-5316! Polls rides for East Lake and West Campus brought to you by: President Judith Ramaley and Admisitration! Hooray!

Why third parties will never win....

2006-10-27T09:53:00.000-05:00

One random day in late October the Independence Party of Minnesota decided to show up on campus at Winona State Univeristy just to demonstrate why they will loose this November and every November after that.

The Snickers Disappointment

2006-10-16T01:48:00.000-05:00

The following email was sent to the Mars Company, maker of the Snickers bar, on Friday night:

-----Original Message-----
From: Stene, Jared P
Sent: Fri 10/13/06 10:41 PM
To: asksnickers@mmmars.com
Subject:

Dear Mars Company-

I regretfully write this email to you this evening, because I went to enjoy a fun size bag of Snickers, and unfortunately I opened this great caramel and peanut joy in a bag only to be greeted with an empty wrapper of fun size Snickers. I feel hurt and betrayed by the Mars Company. I expected prancing nougat in a fun size but was greeted with emptiness. I hope you find my photographic evidence attached to this email as sufficient evidence to my claim. As a loyal Snickers eater for the past 21 years, I believe in the Snickers brand and their peanut goodness. But now, to be given empty wrappers when opening a fun size bag of your product I am a little flabbergasted that the Mars Company would betray me. As you can tell by the signature of my email, I serve on student government at Winona State, and I advocate for Snickers and the Mars Company on campus but after this incident I think twice about my loyalty to this company. I hope Mars Company can fix this situation and prevent other loyal Snickers fans the same despair and betrayal that I have experienced this evening. Thank you for your time and I look forward to your response.

Jared Stene
Student Services Chair
MSUSA GOTV Facilitator
WSU Student Senate
Cell:
Senate office:

I hope Mars will get back to me in a timely matter, my contact information and address was included in the email but I removed them because I am anti-stalkers.

Hot Dish vs. Casserole Debate

2006-09-16T13:05:00.000-05:00

On September 15, 2006 at 11:44 pm I submitted the following letter to the editor of the Winonan, Winona State University's student newspaper:

Dear Editor-

I regretfully write this letter with disappointment in our dining services offered at Winona State University. During the week of August 28th, I witnessed a violation of a great Minnesota tradition that has been ingrained into our state for many generations. While dining at the Jack Kane Dining Center one afternoon, I discovered that tater tot hot dish was IMPROPERLY labeled tater tot casserole. I feel that our dining service, Chartwells, has let this Minnesota university down. As a proud Minnesotan for the past 21 years, I grew up with tater tot hot dish prepared by my mother; I come to Winona State and was very disappointed at the mislabeling of this classic meal.

I have noticed however in previous years that this meal was labeled properly as tater tot hot dish. But suddenly Chartwells has flip flopped its position on the great hot dish versus casserole debate. I, for one, am agitated that Chartwells has abandoned Minnesota. I do not feel it is necessary that Chartwells, currently serving a MnSCU institution should cater to non-Minnesota food labeling. Although I do not necessarily disagree with the labeling of tater tot hot dish as casserole outside of Minnesota, I do however agree that Chartwells needs to adhere to the Minnesota traditional labeling. Some examples would include pop, drinking fountain, duck duck grey duck and of course our beloved hot dish. So Chartwells, on behalf of all Minnesotans: please stop violating our food traditions and adhere to tater tot hot dish.

Jared Stene
Junior
Political Science/Public Admin Major

Please feel free to add your own commentary to this hot topic debate by submitting your own letter to the editor to the Winonan. The Winonan will accept letters up to 400 words, students of WSU must include their year in school, major and phone number. Non-students are welcome to submit letters as well, they must include name, address, and phone number upon submission. Anonymous letters are not accepted. I'll post the link to the actual published letter once the Winonan comes out on Wednesday.

Next Year's Major Issue

2006-05-02T01:29:00.000-05:00

After serving on Student Senate for the past year and re-elected to serve next year I come across issues from time to time that keep me up at night. But as you can tell by the lack of updating on this blog that I've been really concerned about this particular issue and it has made its way to the top of my list of concerns. This summer many WSU students will be able to replace their current laptops for more advanced and updated laptops that feature "dual processing." Sounds pretty cool right? WRONG. The advanced technology might be overwhelming and one day may turn against us. I believe that once these new laptops become available to WSU there will be a tragic error in the system, one that will spark these new machines to spawn into lethal robots. Think about it! Why would someone need dual processing? It would be one processor for the laptop and the extra one for the robot. So I have spent an afternoon preparing a photo of what these laptop robots would look like and illustrate the type of damage these cruel bastards are capable of.

The cold eyes of next year's enemy...

Trained to kill and destroy all in its path until WSU is no more.

The chaos and destruction caused by the laptop robots, these things will need more than just a simple Ctrl+Alt+Delete to get rid of. So I hope that you will survive and I will see you at Mugby when the dust eventually settles.

Little Known Fact about Jared:
I listen to MPR (Minnesota Public Radio) from time to time to catch up on my news and the issues of the day. But I copied this off of the live stream a couple weeks ago of and decided to share this interesting conversation with all of you that made the airways of MPR. It features a baker from Lewiston by the name of Ryan Schweety sharing his fun and delicious dishes!

Ever curious on how I would run my own country?! Then visit the country profile of Jaredazigstan on NationStates.net. NationStates.net is a free game where you can create your own country and handle different issues as they come up, check Jaredazigstan often for new issues are daily and the country is rapidly growing!

BUSHISM:
"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." -Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004

HAPPY FESTIVUS!

2005-12-23T01:13:00.000-06:00

Happy Festivus everyone!

Really sorry for not posting anything this past semester, things have been pretty busy. I do intend to post more stuff over break. But for now, let's all enjoy Festivus today. If you're in my neck of the woods today (December 23), there will be a Festivus Celebration at the Noodles and Company, call me or email me for more details. Not sure what festivus is? Check this out:FESTIVUS.

I found this on the hood of my car in the parking lot of Boarders on Sunday evening:

It contains records dating back to 2000 of gas purchases, mileage, and the price of gas at the time of purchase. The hand writing looks to be that of an old lady, then in the back part of the note pad there is children's writing. Ask your grandma if she is missing anything.

The Lake City Address

2005-11-06T01:13:00.000-06:00

On October 25, 2005 the following speech was given to Mr. Luke LeFebvre's Communication Studies 191: Introduction to Public Speaking 9:30 am class. For his persuasive speech, Mr. Jared Stene of Woodbury, MN addressed his class of approximately 20 students about the need for a 24 hour water skiing plan in Lake City, MN. The speech was held in Stark Hall Room B6 at Winona State University and ran 6 minutes and 56 seconds, just four seconds short of the 7 minute time limit.

The Lake City Address

H.L. Mencken once said that "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under."

Today I will discuss something that is taking place just north of Winona that will make you ashamed of local government and a proposal that will improve life for all.

The City of Lake City, MN needs a 24 hour water skiing program in order to validate their claim as the "birthplace of water skiing." A 24 hour water skiing plan will not only validate the city's claim but also serve as a tourist attraction that will provide the city with increased tourism, a healthier population and it will strengthen Lake City's cultural identity. Before we discuss the plan let's talk about the history of Lake City and where it is today.

In 1922 Ralph Samuelson invented water skiing on Lake Pepin in Lake City, MN. It is because of this Lake City claims to be the "birthplace of water skiing."

This photograph taken in Downtown Lake City serves as proof to the city's claim.

As does this photograph.

The problem is that often times one can not find water skiers on Lake Pepin. As you can see by this photograph, there are no water skiers to be found. None.

Here's another angle of Lake Pepin, still there are no water skiers in view.

As a concerned citizen of Minnesota I decided to submit the following proposal to the government of Lake City that calls for 24 hour water skiing on Lake Pepin.

Being that there is 8,760 hours in a year and the population of Lake City according to the 2000 U.S. Census is 4,950 people; it would be required that each citizen 16 years of age and older would have to water ski a minimum of two hours a year in order to maintain a 24 hour presence on Lake Pepin.

Citizens unable to water ski due to physical disabilities or old age will not be required to water ski and instead will be replaced by volunteers who are under 16 years of age and other water skiing enthusiasts. For the evening hours, flood lights would be place on the shores of Lake Pepin. In the winter months of the year there are two options to maintain a 24 hour water skiing presence on Lake Pepin. The first option is to cut a hole in the ice near a specific location near shore. The second option would be to use a snow mobile to tow the skier on top of the ice, this would be acceptable due to the fact that ice is the solid form of water. A city employee of Lake City will drive the city owned water skiing boat. Now that we've examined the details of the proposal and Lake City's current situation, let's discuss some benefits of this plan.

The tourism in Lake City would improve because of this plan. According to the journal Canadian Geographer, a community based tourism program improved Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan's economy and tourism numbers. This is proof that the 24 hour water skiing program, to be considered a community based tourism program will improve Lake City's economy and tourism as it did in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan.

This plan will improve the health of citizens in Lake City. Water skiing is an activity that will improve various muscle groups and control weight gain according to American Fitness. The 24 hour water skiing program will improve Lake City's population overall health and wellness being that water skiing is recognized as a weight control activity.

Finally, this plan will help validate Lake City's claim as the "birthplace of water skiing." According to the American Heritage Dictionary , the definition of validate is to substantiate or verify. According to that same dictionary the definition of substantiate is the following: to support with proof or evidence; to give material form to; or to make real or actual.

The 24 hour water skiing program in Lake City, MN will not only validate the claim as "birthplace of water skiing" but it will substantiate it as well according to the American Heritage Dictionary . Now that we've discussed the benefits of this plan, let's examine an example of one local government validating their claims and Lake City's current actions with this proposal.

New Salem, North Dakota is located in western North Dakota and is a prime example of local government's validating their claims. New Salem's claim is that it is the "Home of the World's Largest Holstein Cow." New Salem's claim is validated by a 38 foot tall statue of a Holstein cow that resides on top of a hill outside of the city.

As you can see by this photograph, I personally went to New Salem in the Summer of 2005 to verify the existence of this statue and New Salem's claim. The physical existence of this statue validates and substantiates New Salem's claim of "Home of World's Largest Holstein Cow." This is something that Lake City is failing to do right now.

The government of Lake City is actually considering this proposal.

In a letter to addressed to me and see by this photograph, Lake City City Administrator Ron Johnson stated that "I am forwarding your letter to our local chamber of commerce for their review."

The definition of consider is to take into account. By forwarding this proposal to the chamber of commerce, the City of Lake City has started the formal government process of adopting policy and therefore this is regarded as taking this plan into account or considering it.

Lake City, MN needs a 24 hour water skiing plan in order to validate their claim as the "birthplace of water skiing." The proposed 24 hour water skiing plan will not only validate their claim, improve the economy and tourism, and make citizens healthier but it will also follow the example of New Salem, ND in validating claims.

This proposal is actually to benefit the youth of Lake City. One morning a child will wake up in Lake City and will no longer be ashamed of his government for he will look towards Lake Pepin and will see someone constantly water skiing. Then that child will be able to say to himself, "We're the birthplace of water skiing, and we're damn proud of it."

Thank you.

Dude, what happened?

2005-10-20T01:47:00.000-05:00

So many have been asking, what happened to Stick Figure Pirates & Flying Monkeys? Well just to reassure people, no I have not forgotten about the blog and no I do not intend on shutting it down, just simply haven't had sufficient resources to produce an entry. Resources such as:

Coffee

Now I've tried to master the art of making my own coffee here in the dorm but a lot of attempts ended up like this:

But how could this be?! A person who has been enjoying coffee practically on a daily basis since his high school years couldn't make a decent pot of coffee to save his life?! This is what my coffee ended up tasting like:

SURGEON GENERAL WARNING: The consumption of diarrhea can be hazardous to your health.

So this has been the reason as to why there has not been anything new for the past 6 or 7 weeks, but there will be more to come very soon!

LAKE CITY WATERSKIING ISSUE UPDATE: I will be giving my persuasive speech for Intro to Public Speaking on the hot button Lake City Water Skiing Issue on October 25 or 27. Although this is not technically open to the public, I will however post my speech on here. You can view the original Lake City letter by clicking here. You can also view their response here. It's important to hold city governments accountable to their claims, and it's starts in Lake City, MN......

Here's a cool game I found!

Spitting Hicks, Billy Idol, and Oh Crap! College Started

2005-08-30T23:15:00.000-05:00

"I piss over Rhode Island." -Sam Portz, June 22, 2005 at Caribou Coffee

What a good quote to start this school year off with! That quote has been in my wallet on a piece of paper for the past couple of months. Speaking of Sam Portz, he took the pictures of Vanilla Rumble which was held on July 17. Finally they are up for people to see on my Yahoo Photos area. Vanilla Rumble Pictures.

Here's a story for the whole family, so the Stene-Mobile got an unwanted addition to the paint job. On a Friday evening during rush hour my mother and I had to run to downtown St. Paul to do an errand. After I was done dropping something off I got back into the Stene-Mobile and my mother started to drive to the end of the block and turn onto a one-way street. Meanwhile a man started to walk in the cross walk ahead of us while the Stene-Mobile had a green light, which is pretty common these days to play pedestrian dodge person. But what happened now was that this man, who we shall reference as "Mr. Hick Dude," decided to stand in the middle of the cross walk in front of the lane and not move. As a result the Stene-Mobile was forced to stop in front of Mr. Hick Dude, now Mr. Hick Dude was standing and looking around at various St. Paul things and ignore our car. Fustrated by this my mother started asking Mr. Hick Man to move, but she was still inside the Stene-Mobile. After he was not responsive to this request and still ignoring the poor Stene-Mobile, I then decided to roll down the passenger window and lean out of the window to say, "Hey Buddy! Can you please move for us?!"

Mr. Hick Dude then snapped to look at the Stene-Mobile with an angry look and decided to give us the middle finger. Please refer to the picture on the left for a reference to the middle finger. Commonly called "The Bird" "Flipping Someone Off" or "The California Howdy" according the hit 1993 movie The Beverly Hillbillies starring Diedrich Bader.

While walking away from the Stene-Mobile with his middle finger still displayed proudly for all to see, Mr. Hick Dude then decided to spit a large piece of hick-like saliva at the Stene-Mobile. Finally, he was out of the way for the Stene-Mobile to proceed on its way. As my mother turned the car, and myself in shock over what has just happen, she decided to vocally express herself about what just happened.

"WELL, FUCK YOU BACK!!!" my mom proudly stated to Mr. Hick Dude. After the Stene-Mobile was well away from the scene of the horrific event, I was still in shock over what happened. So if anyone is in the downtown St. Paul area and spots a man who looks like the rocker Andrew WK but with red hair and a little bit more chunkier, please kindly ask the him to stop spitting on the Stene-Mobile because its just not nice.

A few days later though, luck for me changed when on the way to work I found this on the ground of a Grand Ave. gas station in St. Paul:

A BILLY IDOL CASSETTE TAPE!! After wiping away the morning dew off of the case it still worked in the Stene-Mobile tape player. But now being that I am back at college I no longer have the resources to enjoy great hits such as "Rebel Yell" and "Eyes Without A Face."

After an eventful summer of doing various activities like drinking coffee, having lightsaber battles (seen in photo), and working as a temp at Wells Fargo and Brown College, I returned to Winona State to continue doing college-like things. For example, walking in the St. Charles Gladiola Days Parade last Sunday with the Winona County DFL for College Democrats. St. Charles is located about 30 miles west of Winona, where Rick and I found out that Democrats are not quite favored in this area of Minnesota. Let's just say that silence isn't really a sign of being well accepted by a large crowd. But all that matters in the end, is that someone out there can do a cartwheel with a toy lightsaber as well as lift an outdoor table!

Not entirely sure who that is?! Why it's Matt Dunn! He's seen here in this undated file photo. Oh and don't forget the band that decided to name themselves Matt Dunn.

Bushism:
BUSH: "First of all, Cinco de Mayo is not the independence day. That's dieciseis de Septiembre, and..."
MATTHEWS: "What's that in English?"
BUSH: "Fifteenth of September." [Dieciseis de Septiembre = September 16]
-Hardball with Chris Matthews, MSNBC; May 31, 2000

Links of the Day:
This is the website of a guy who decided to tattoo his entire body with Disney characters. I honestly have no words to describe that, wow.

Are you a really cool person that drinks a lot of caffeine like I do?! Well you can figure out how much of your favorite caffeine drink can kill you in one sitting. Death-by-Caffeine. Don't actually try this though!

Just hold on.....

2005-08-17T07:44:00.000-05:00

Things have been really busy lately. Right now I'm finishing up work as a temp at Brown College in Mendota Heights, Rick and I are starting to get College Dems up and running, and of course there is that crazy hick guy in downtown St. Paul who decided to spit on our car....

I move back to Winona State on August 22, and on that week there should be plenty of updates and stuff from the summer. Sorry for not updating as much! In the mean time...

M.I.A.: Power Cord

2005-07-05T22:35:00.000-05:00

I have survived Red State Penetration Mission 2005. I have journeyed to Dickinson, ND and back and live today to tell the tale. But unfortunately I have a serious situation, as of right now the power cord to my laptop is Missing In Action or for you military types "MIA." It is because of this I can not blog a lot until my power cord comes back. The good news is that today my letter to the editor of The Dickinson Press was finally published for all of western North Dakota to see. I am told though that people do tend to respond to other peoples letters from time to time. So over the next few days I need to check The Dickinson Press for any potential fall out. Here is my letter to the editor of The Dickinson Press:

7-5-05 letter -- Bush needs a mainstream nominee
Tuesday, July 05, 2005

To the editor:

With the recent retirement of Justice O'Connor from the Supreme Court of the United States, it is important that President Bush appoints a main stream judge to serve on the bench.

The main reason for this would be to prevent another "nuclear option" showdown in the United States Senate. If President Bush were to appoint a right-wing judge to the court, Democrats would have no option but to filibuster the nomination, much like we are seeing today with the nomination of John Bolton to the United Nations ambassador position.

This filibuster and possible use of the "nuclear option" by Senate Republicans would do nothing but harm the country and prevent the Senate from doing its job of serving the people.

So what should President Bush do right now? I think the best thing he needs to do is to start a dialogue with not only his Republican counterparts in the Senate, but also with Democratic leaders as well, to formulate a good and steady nomination of a mainstream judge back to the Supreme Court.

If Bush were to not work with the Democrats, then the Senate is at risk of shutting down, which will do nothing but hurt the country and prevent federal money for issues that matter such as education, health care and veteran's benefits.

We should take a lesson from our neighbors to the east in Minnesota, where they are experiencing a state-wide government shut down as a result of partisan bickering and non-cooperation. This bickering and non-cooperation can happen in the Senate only if the President decides not to work with Democrats.

So President Bush, it is time to start working and reaching out to Democrats and start working together in order to prevent the Senate shutting down and achieving its main goal, serving the people of this country.

Jared Stene
Dickinson

Note: In order to increase my chances of being published thus completing my mission objective, I signed and wrote the letter as a citizen of Dickinson, North Dakota. Which at one point I technically was a few years ago when I stayed in North Dakota for a number of weeks.

Haven't been to North Dakota before?! Wondering what's out there?! Take a look:

Farm land that is preventing all of those strip malls and Starbucks developing. Man where did the good old days of urban sprawl go?

Adventures in New Salem, ND:

World's Largest Cow: Salem Sue

Jared trying to milk the World's Largest Cow, and nothing came out.

More Red State Penetration Mission 2005 adventures/updates when my power cord returns from MIA status.

RSPM 2005 Update

2005-07-01T15:57:00.000-05:00

After traveling about 10 hours and 8 minutes I have finally arrived in Dickinson a town deep inside the very red state of North Dakota. To my disappointment, the Dickinson Public Library DID NOT have free wireless as according to several Wi-Fi websites. But I infiltrated the Dickinson State University's library and now using the internet through them. Though I will not have time to post my mission journal with random thoughts and experiences through out the trip, I will however show you a couple of pictures that I snapped along the way.

A magazine rack in a Bismarck, ND gas station. Apparently porn is a top seller, nevermind those other news magazines for they don't have cool pictures.

A new urban development in Dickinson, ND.

When I arrived here I started to read the local newspaper The Dickinson Press. I turned to the opinion section and started reading one of the letters to the editor. Apparently Dickinson is a hot bed for vicious public opinion, here's one of the two letters I read:

7-1-05 letter -- Young boy would like his bike returned
Friday, July 01, 2005

To the editor:

Trae is a little guy for his age, but he likes to be able to do what the big guys and girls do Â ride his bike with training wheels; try to roller blade. His sister and brother take the lead, he follows.

His little heart was broken the other night when he ran home to go to the bathroom and went back to the skate park, only to find his training wheels and the rest of the 20-inch bike gone. Trae is only 6 and wants to have his bike returned so he can ride again.

Please return it to the Dickinson Police Department, no questions asked.

Mrs. Jerry Gullickson
Dickinson

After seeing this letter I've decided that I too shall write a letter to The Dickinson Press. I feel that I have a very good chance to get something published before I go. So that is one of my goals so far of Red State Penetration Mission 2005. Now if I will be able to come back tomorrow and give an update I am not sure, but I will certainly try my best to escape here to take advantage of the internet.

Westward Ho!

2005-06-29T01:47:00.000-05:00

Rick and I just returned from a fun filled progressive weekend at Camp Wellstone in Rochester, MN. Though there wasn’t much to take pictures of in “Roch”, Rick and I were able to spot some interesting things.

The moment we arrived to our room in the EconoLodge South, Rick became very interested in what Rochester has to offer and decided to pick up Rochester Magazine and discover everything cool they had to offer!

A giant Corn on the Cob that can be seen from various parts of Rochester. It may look like a water tower, but after close examination it is not.

I notice this on the way to the University Center, it’s what I call the world’s largest electric scooter used for a very big elderly person.

Early Sunday morning I was up on the computer while Rick was chillin watching TV when we noticed three large bugs on the wall of our EconoLodge room. So note to my readers: try to avoid the EconoLodge in Rochester, MN!

An artist conception of the unidentified hotel room bug.

Camp Wellstone was a fun experience where I learned some very useful things that I will most definitely use in the near future. If anyone is interested in campaigns or politics I would recommend trying to catch a camp near you, best way to find out about camps is by signing up on the Wellstone Action email list at www.wellstone.org

RED STATE PENETRATION MISSION 2005

On June 30 at approximately 6 pm Red State Penetration Mission 2005 will commence. I will travel 541.57 miles to Dickinson, ND from Woodbury, MN; a place that is in deep in Red State territory. I will document my 8 hour and 5 minute journey on my laptop with pictures and various written entries and try to update SFP & FM from the Dickinson Public Library, which is the only free wireless internet available in Dickinson. Coming off a progressive filled weekend at Camp Wellstone, I am ready to penetrate North Dakota with full force and good aim!

Since parts of North Dakota are not up to date on technology like they are here in Minnesota, I will have to adapt some essential equipment in order to survive and blend in.

North Dakota does not believe in the invention of the automobile, I will have to get around by covered wagon. Good thing for Oregon Trail, or else I would be screwed. This is Abe and I near Jamestown where some random people decided to walk with us.

The cell phone has not made it out to North Dakota yet so I have to rely on my Morse Phone made by Motorola with service provided by T-Mobile. I'm a bit rusty on my Morse code but I think I should communicate fine. Here is something that I have already learned for ND: .... . .-.. .--. / -- . / -. --- .--

Let the mission begin! You will (hopefully) hear from me in Dickinson!

Bushism: "We're spending money on clean coal technology. Do you realize we've got 250 million years of coal?" -Washington, D.C., June 8, 2005

Link of the Day: NEWSBREAKERS is a website of a media watchdog group with a mission to disrupt live news broadcasts across the country. Check out some of the things they did, hilarious stuff.

Those Damn Tricky Canadians

2005-06-22T01:40:00.000-05:00

In the past few weeks I've noticed some interesting billboards on my daily travels to and from downtown St. Paul. Here's what I am talking about:

"Get Away to Manitoba" billboard in downtown St. Paul

The billboard wants us to travel to Manitoba, Canada where apparently there are nice beaches. But I'm not fooled by this nasty Canadian trick. So in response I have drafted up this billboard which will one day be placed next to each of these tricky Manitoba billboards.

Travel Arkansas!

Call the travel agent now and explore the wonderful beaches that Arkansas has to offer! I just ran into a very sun tanned couple at Caribou the other day who just happen to return from exotic Arkansas, they say the moonshine is at its best this time of year, so escape now before the season is done.

In other summer action, my golf game was drastically changed this year while at the driving range for the first time this season. Half way through my bucket of range balls my driver made a hideous noise, after examining the club I realized that it became severely damaged.

The reason I'm not golfing much this season.

It'll be a while before I can get back out there and find the time to run to the thrift store and find another driver.

This weekend I will be in Rochester attending Camp Wellstone with Rick. I am looking forward to a fun filled weekend of learning how to do things the grassroots way! Woo hoo! Then the following weekend will be the Red State Penetration Mission 2005, where I will be documenting my trip to deep inside the Red State of North Dakota. I've been training rigorously lately on survival and camouflage techniques. Here's a preview of one worse case scenario that might be encountered on the mission:

Something I might run into while in North Dakota.

More on Red State Penetration Mission 2005 later!

Bushism: "I'm also mindful that man should never try to put words in God's mouth. I mean, we should never ascribe natural disasters or anything else, to God. We are in no way, shape, or form should a human being, play God." -Appearing on ABC's 20/20, Washington D.C., Jan. 14, 2005

Link of the Day: My personal pick for product of the year.

Another Link of the Day: Mug Shots of Famous People

Sam fighting the system!

He wanted a mocha and got a hot chocolate. Sam doesn't let this aggression stand!

Neglect

2005-06-11T02:04:00.000-05:00

Oh yeah, I have that blog thing. Maybe I should update it.

Here's another pet peeve I've encounter not too long ago:

Why?

So this guy decides to raise his truck 4 feet from the ground, and then have normal tires. You're not impressing anyone.

Something else that can't be explained:

Again, why?

If you're walking the streets of Oakdale, MN at night you must be aware of a new prowler who likes to hang out in trees and attempt to expose himself to people. Please carry pepper spray when walking in Oakdale.

Oakdale's newest sexual prowler

After enjoying the new Star Wars film, Tran decided to buy a lightsaber at a thrift store and then bring it to Caribou one Saturday afternoon. Jealous, I then decided to go to Target and buy a lightsaber of my own. Soon battle erupted in the parking lot of Caribou...

Obi-Tran Kentony battling Darth Jaredious

BOXING! BOXING! BOXING!
The rumors are true! Fight for Cake Entertainment proudly presents:

On July 18 (my birthday) Aaron "The Killer" Korf will take on John "Crazy Legs" Krier in what will for sure be the event of the year. Venue is yet to be determined and finalized, also the date might be moved back as well to the following weekend. But mark your calendars now and make arrangements to attend the biggest event this summer. There are also rumors floating around that Obi-Tran Kentony and Darth Jaredious will have an opening exhibition lightsaber battle before the main event. Stay tuned to Stick Figure Pirates & Flying Monkeys for your Vanilla Rumble updates!

The Jowling Update:

Tran's jowling attempt, modest

Dunn's jowling attempt, a very good one

Dan's jowling attempt, decent

Korf jowling, good

John's jowling attempt, scrumtrulescent

Bushism: "I think younger workers-first of all, younger workers have been promised benefits the government-promises that have been promised, benefits that we can't keep. That's just the way it is." -Washington, D.C., May 4, 2005

Link of the Day: One of the worst pictures ever.

No wait, this is one of the worst pictures ever:

Jesse Ventura and GI Joe at the recent Bruhaha

World's Largest Yak

2005-05-27T02:22:00.000-05:00

Not sure how many of you have noticed the new website dedicated the Lake City battle, but a committee has been formed to advocate for the issue. Lake City for Water Skiing Progress Committee is now the official organization developed to bring 24 hour water skiing to the "Birthplace of Water Skiing." I am now thinking about ordering some stationary and letter head for the next phases of the campaign. I'm very disappointed to report that there is still no new response from Lake City since my May 5 letter. It has also come to my attention that more letters to Lake City may be considered harassment and constitute grounds for a legal battle in which I am not prepared to fight yet. It has been decided by LCWSPC that the campaign will now take a new, less vocal road and take an alternative route. But be aware, this DOES NOT mean the fight is being abandoned, just reformed.

With that said, I'm please to announce the new campaign by Stick Figure Pirate & Flying Monkeys: lobby the City of Oakdale, Minnesota to build the "World's Largest Yak." A yak, as defined by Google's dictionary service, is a wild, shaggy-haired ox (Bos grunniens) of the mountains of central Asia. The letter to the City of Oakdale is still being drafted by Yak Committee members but will be available for public viewing on this blog soon. A number of locations through out Oakdale is possible for this grand tourist attraction that will do nothing but benefit the city. Our primary locations are either near City Hall or over Interstate 694 so that motorists can drive under the yak. This yak will be actually a yak statue similar to the World's Largest Cow in New Salem, North Dakota and will be at least 45 feet tall and no taller than 50 stories.

Possible location for Oakdale's World's Largest Yak.

It's all about improving municipal governments here at Stick Figure Pirates & Flying Monkeys, from 24 hour water skiing at Lake City, MN to the World's Largest Yak in Oakdale, MN.

Bushism: "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda." -Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005

Book I am currently reading: On Bullshit by Harry G. Frankfurt

Link of the Day: Celebrity Tippers An on going list complied by various waiters/waitresses across the country of which celebrities tip excellent or horrible.

Cake refused to conform with advertisers hollow image of what a cakes should be:

It's not how you're judged on the outside, Cake!

Sugar Loaf Falls!

2005-05-18T11:20:00.000-05:00

Winona icon, Sugar Loaf, before and after its fall.

WINONA, Minnesota (SFP & FM)- Beloved symbol and 100 year old Winona icon, Sugar Loaf, fell today after an extensive period of rain that has plagued the area for the past several weeks. Mass chaos and rioting has taken place in Winona in the past 12 hours since the formation’s fall.

“It’s the end of the world!” said Winona resident Christopher Bandaman as he proceeded to loot the Downtown Adult Bookstore amidst the large mob of panicky citizens.

Winona’s mayor, Jerry Miller, as called an emergency meeting of top government officials to address the tragic events that have engulfed Winona. Possible hyperinflation and economic depression threatens the area due the large amount of money that will be needed to rid Winona of all Sugar Loaf references, images and stationary.

A recently formed cult called the Loafians has called for the resignation of Mayor Miller after blaming him for the fall of the symbol. The militant arm of the Loafians has reportedly invaded various buildings in the city.

“I’ve warned Miller countless times that this was going to happen soon” stated Loafian leader Miles McGyster. “It’s time to replace Miller with a strong confident lead who will lead us out of this crisis, Winona Ryder.”

Actress Winona Ryder, possible new Mayor of Winona, MN.

Ryder, an actress and movie star with no political experience, could not be reached for comment or position on the new job offer. Rumors have spread through out the city that Ryder was en route to Winona to take over the mayoral position and restore order. In the mean time, Minnesota Army National Guard troops have been deployed to the city to stop the rioting, which already has claimed over 30 lives and the destruction of the local Wal Mart.

No Pants Day

2005-05-06T03:50:00.000-05:00

No Pants Day, as American as apple pie and baseball.

Today, May 6, the first Friday of May is No Pants Day. A national/worldwide holiday where the wearing of pants is not allowed. You can visit the banner above this post for more information. I was blessed to discover No Pants Day while looking at a flier at Blue Heron, and now I ask that you join in No Pants Day. My public display of non-pants wearing might be limited due to the fact that Woodbury might jail me on sight for not wearing pants, but the revolution starts with one brave act of breaking the law.

The final day of WSU was spent spreading the sport of jowling. You can learn more about jowling by visiting Jowlers.com or you can refer to one of my recent entries in which I discuss the sport and tactics. Bring on the jowlers!

Carla and Andrea jowling, the first female WSU Jowlers, something that they will both put on their resumes and applications.

Brandon jowling, this technique is improving a little but I think his off season work will really pay off for when we start back up again in the Fall.

My best jowling attempt to date.

Tony's first jowling ever, no longer a jowling virgin! That a boy Tony, that a boy.

Pete with some 8th floor Sheehan jowling action.

Mike with the decent first jowling, well done Mike.

Bushism: "He understands the need for a timely write of the constitution." on Prime Minister Iyad Allawi of Iraq, Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005

Link of the Day: Give Bush A Brain! A cool game you can play when you are bored, and anti-Bush. Its actually some what challenging.

Unlikely Workplace Memo:

Tony Tran's work bathroom memo.

This was displayed in the men's bathroom of Tony Tran's work. Something Tran will look forward to when he returns from Fargo.

Summer Goals for 2005

2005-05-04T11:14:00.000-05:00

Summer has finally reached the campus of Winona State, thus marking the end of my freshman year of college. I’m afraid that this will be my last entry as a first year college student. This past year has been an enjoyable experience and I have had the distinct pleasure of meeting new people and partaking in many adventures here in the city of Winona, it is my hope that we will still remain in touch through out the summer and next year. When I first started this blog back in January I have never envisioned this to last this long and to be such fun way to maintain my sanity. Thank you very much for taking the time to visit Stick Figure Pirates & Flying Monkeys and I hope you still come back during the summer as well as next year. Being that I do not have adequate access to a high speed internet connection this summer, I will be forced to update this blog about twice a week, instead of my daily goal of updating. This summer will be spent enjoying life at Caribou as well as working, please feel free to get in touch with me to enjoy mochas together. Do not fear though, I have a drafted a loose list of goals for the summer:

1. Present my water skiing proposal to the city of Lake City.

Today I sent another letter to Lake City after not hearing from them for a month since their original response.

City of Lake City
205 W. Center Street
Lake City, MN 55041

City of Lake City-

Thank you very much for the rapid response after I sent my second letter regarding my 24 hour water skiing proposal on Lake Pepin. I am very pleased that this important proposal was forwarded to the local chamber of commerce and I ask that they consider the numerous benefits my proposal can bring to Lake City.

Just in case you can not remember my proposal I shall give you a short synopsis. After passing through Lake City numerous times en route to Winona State University I have noticed that Lake City, the proclaimed birthplace of water skiing, does not feature anyone water skiing on Lake Pepin. Bewildered by this notion I have designed a plan that will feature water skiers on Lake Pepin 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in order to retain the legitimacy of Lake City’s claim as the birthplace of water skiing. I would like to use the city of New Salem, North Dakota as an example of municipal government accountability. If you are not aware New Salem, ND is the home of the World’s Largest Cow “New Salem Sue.” New Salem’s claim as the home of the World’s Largest Cow is legitimate due to the fact you can see the 32 foot tall cow from any vantage point of the city, especially from the main highway that services New Salem, Interstate 94. This is not the case in regards to Lake City, where you can not see any water skiers on Lake Pepin. I am aware that Lake City does hold an annual festival featuring water skiing, but I am afraid that it is the popular opinion of a vast number of my colleagues at Winona State and the state of Minnesota abroad that this is merely not enough to support Lake City’s claim as the birthplace water skiing. My proposal will produce nothing but positive benefits for the great city of Lake City and will reinforce the title as birthplace of water skiing. If any officials in the Lake City government would like to meet with me to discuss further details of my plan I will be happy to come to Lake City and meet with officials and address any concerns that may arise. I ask that you please contact me at my new summer office address which is on the top of this letter to set up any meetings. Thank you very much for your time and I look forward to phasing in this great proposal to improve the already great city of Lake City.

Sincerely,
Jared Stene
Student

If you would like to send your own letter to Lake City, let me know and I can help you out! You can see my first letter by clicking on the link under “Posts of Fame.”

2. Obtain another pair of bowling shoes for school year 05-06.

The current condition of my bowling shoes.

As you can see, I need another pair of bowling shoes. This summer I will some how obtain another pair because bowling shoes are comfortable and very fashionable. Note to Dunn- I’ll need you’re help again for this mission.

3. Survive the Red State Penetration Mission 2005 trip.

The Red State of North Dakota

For my July 4 holiday I was recently informed that I will be going to the state of North Dakota. In the past two presidential elections North Dakota went to GW Bush, thus making it a Red State. As many of you have noticed I am a very much a Democrat so it will be hard for me to visit ND. This is why I have declared this trip to North Dakota as Stick Figure Pirates & Flying Monkeys’ Red State Penetration Mission 2005. I will document and blog my experiences in North Dakota as I travel deep into the redness while maintaining my Democrat ideals and promoting them. Many of you will feel concerned for my personal safety, but please do not be afraid for my life for I am confident that my short distance sprinting ability will buy my a safe window of about 10 seconds. So stick around in July for Red State Penetration Mission 2005!

I’m sure I will do more and experience more this summer, but this is just a short list of goals I have for Summer 05. To my high school friends: LET THE BRU HA HA COMMENCE!

Bushism: "We expect the states to show us whether or not we're achieving simple objectives- like literacy, literacy in math, the ability to read and write." -on federal education requirements, Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005

Link of the Day: The Official New Salem Sue Website. Take a virtual tour of the world's largest cow that resides in North Dakota. You can take a 360 degree tour of the area; note the flatness of the surroundings.

Man Parachutes off Top of Sheehan Hall

2005-05-03T01:35:00.000-05:00

Man BASE jumping off of Sheehan Hall.

WINONA, Minnesota (SFP & FM) - An anonymous thrill seeker and Winona State student parachuted off the top of the 13 floor Sheehan Hall residential dorm on Monday afternoon. The WSU Security force was unable to catch the jumper, who leaped inside of an idling car parked on Mark Street.

“Dude, if I jump from the highest place around here, the higher my test scores are man.” stated the jumper responding to his motives in an exclusive interview. “Also I wanted to be like Wille Coyote dude, that guy is the shit.”

Wille Coyote

The jumper asked to be known only as “Skippy.” Skippy later explained that it was a year long goal to become Winona’s first BASE jumper. The acronym “BASE” stands for building, antenna, span, and earth, which are the objects jumpers prefer to make their jumps from. Winona Police later put out a ransom of $10,000 and a ride in the armored anti-riot vehicle for any information that leads to the capture of the dare devil.

University President Darrell Krueger responded to the incident as “a part of the on going ignorance by students.” Krueger also explained that when the New University or Winona Experience plan becomes phased in, a special work group will be assigned to stop BASE jumping. He later expressed some relief in the fact that the jumper did not choose the newly named Darrell W. Krueger Library for his attempt.

WSU Security put out a description of the jumper as being a male, in his early 20’s, 130-250 lbs, 5’3’’-6’8’’ in height. If you have spotted anyone fitting this description please call the Winona Police Department immediately.

The Sport of Jowling

2005-05-02T01:13:00.000-05:00

Last week I was introduced to the sport of jowling by Brandon. It's a fun sport to play when you're bored, stressed, or when hanging out with friends. Jowling consists of someone shaking their head as fast as they can and then someone else taking a picture of your head, so it's a two player game, something hard to do for you anti-social types. Well take a look at some of the attempts of jowling over the past few days:

Jared's first attempt at jowling

Brandon's shot at jowling, there is room for improvement but I think we'll get it soon.

Bishwas jowling, not bad.

Jared's second attempt at jowling, a little bit better than the first one.

Josh's attempt at jowling, picture turned out fuzzy but definitely rocking the funky hair.

Jared's recent attempt at jowling, it got too intense for the glasses.

If you'd like to see more jowling you can visit the official jowlers website at Jowlers.com Want to learn to jowl on your own?! Follow these steps:
1. Relax all of your face muscles and try to keep your eyes and mouth open while you are shaking your head.
2. Shake your head as fast as you can back and forth.
3. Have someone else take a picture with a flash of your head shaking.
4. Admire you jowling efforts with a hopefully crazy looking picture.
WARNING: Jowling causes head aches, dizziness and if done too many times you can faint. Please do not over attempt your jowling. I develop a slight head ache personally when I am done jowling.

Send me your jowling pictures! If you think your efforts are awesome, send the pictures my way and they'll be posted up on here. You can also do what I did and post them on Jowlers.com

Bushism: "It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way." Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005

Link of the Day: Sound Boards.com Great for prank calling, and boredom.

Crazy Thursday & Krugerpalooza Friday

2005-04-30T19:11:00.000-05:00

The past Thursday and Friday were just insane! I think its just best to describe some of the things that ended up on my camera in order to capture what happened these past few days.

Robot Eager

Mike Trombley and his engineering friends had to make a robot for a battle bots competition that is part of their class. Late Tuesday night at 2 am I encountered the robot making crew in the 2nd Prentiss Lounge just piecing wires and making a lethal robot. It was at that point where Mr. Trombley and myself explained the Tartan High School Legend that is Eric Eager. They were inspired so much by his legend status that they decided to name their robot after Hot Pants (another high school legend of people on the team) and Eager. I'm please to announce that Eager has prevailed and took first overall in the tournament on Thursday. Congratulations Eager.

What happens at Block Party...stays at Block Party.

Thursday night was also the massive Block Party thrown by IRHC. At Block Party I apparently got fake married to two ladies, which in part makes me a fake polygamist.

Friday was Krugerpalooza on WSU Campus. One huge massive party in which state dignitaries and elitist moshed it up and jammed out in honor of the library being named after President Kruger. Thursday evening Rick, Brandon and myself made Krugerpalooza shirts for the occasion. Can't wait for next year's Krugerpalooza!

KRUGERPALOOZA CREW!

Jared at the Kruger Library on Krugerpalooza, the mosh pits were crazy.

Later that evening the P-L Ping Pong tournament was held in the Ping Pong Stadium/Laundry Room of my dorm hall. I arrived in my ping pong uniform but was eliminated in the first round with a score of 21-4.

Ping Ponging it up at the Prentiss Lucas Ping Pong Tournament.

Bushism: "But if you've been laid off work, you're 100 percent unemployed, and I worry about it." -Green Bay, Wisconsin; September 3, 2001

Link of the Day: Bush was a cheer leader!

Look what I spotted on campus Friday afternoon, I need to contact the scientific community about this find. A rare species roaming about:

An Iowan Wennes in its natural habitat.

Kruegerpalooza Baby!

2005-04-28T02:10:00.000-05:00

Kruegerpalooza 05 baby!

Friday is Kruegerpalooza here at Winona State, where our Library is being named after our retiring president Darrell Krueger. You can read about Kruegerpalooza here. The administration has gone to the extent to encourage professors to cancel classes so students can attend the ceremony which starts at 11 am. But I for one will not be able to make the ceremony due to a quiz, but I'm thinking about making an appearance just for the refreshments. The Governor himself will be on hand for Kruegerpalooza! Maybe he'll start the party with a rousing speech on higher education and his secret plans to one day turn WSU into a state run casino! Kruegerpalooza shirts will be made for the special occasion and worn by select cool people around campus.

Speaking of Libraries and naming them after people, there was a special task force that comprised of myself and other concerned students to name the library after Minnesota baseball great, Kirby Puckett. A great deal of concern came about when Krueger called students ignorant after a student New U referendum that decided 5 to 1 against the proposal. So concerned with this, it was decided that the library should first be named after Kirby Puckett, so technically speaking this Friday would be the second naming of the WSU Library. The naming consisted of myself running full speed at the right hand library entrance and jumping as high as my white person skills will let me to place the new library sign.

Hollywood was right, white man can't jump.

It's estimated that the Kirby Puckett Library existed for about 17 hours.

Kirby Puckett Library

While we are on the subject of libraries, the No on the New U rally was a very cold event, literally. At one point snow began to fall, but the New U Weather Machine could not deter the students who were there to speak against the man!

No on the New U Rally

Bushism: "Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it." -St.Louis; October 18, 2000

Link of the Day: Star Wars Stormtropper on HotorNot.com! Brandon and I encountered this man while bored and cruising around HotorNot.com, everyone please rate him a 10 because I think he sure has some balls to post a picture like that for the ENTIRE INTERNET to see.

Look what I bought!

The hooker I bought for $.50....from the Homies machine at Wal Mart.

NO on the NEW U RALLY

2005-04-27T00:30:00.000-05:00

My cool chalking on Monday night before the evil rain came and ruined it.

Today the NO on the New U Rally is being held at 1:50 pm in front of the Library. I encourage everyone who is reading this now who goes to WSU to attend and show the administration, MnSCU, as well as the rest of the great state of Minnesota that our voice will not be muffled.

Why should I care about the New U aka "The Winona Experience"?

Right now as it is proposed, the New University plan will increase your tuition $1000 over the next 4 years starting next year. But what specifically is being funded from the possible tuition increase? As of right now, there are no specific documents produced by the New University Committee that show money from the New U fee being allocated towards specific programs, in other words no line item budget has been made or drafted. In high school, when my district proposed a levy, one of the first things that was drafted was a specific budget showing where the money from the levy would be going to, this is not the case for the New U plan. From my own personal experiences in the past year here at WSU, for each student who learns about the New U plan for the first time, a number of questions or concerns expressed by that student can not be answered. A number of the ideas or programs proposed under the New University plan are not even completely worked out and still considered under "development stages." Our administration wants to raise our tuition for programs that are just mere ideas from brain storms instead of concrete plans or proposals. Some of the New U initiatives are just frivolous and will do nothing to improve students. For example, for a New U proposal regarding the building of an Experiential Learning Institute, a paragraph is dedicated to proposing a kitchen to be used by faculty in this building.

“To support the community building aspect of the ELI, the workgroup believes it is important that the facility be equipped with kitchen facilities that will enable users to make coffee, to prepare and serve snacks or even lunch, or to host pot-luck meals. Food provides a great way for people to come together and talk informally about their work. Our study of best practices indicates that the most successful learning communities met around meals and the most informal idea generation takes place over a shared cup of coffee. We believe that in the new ELI, the coffee must always be fresh, strong and available (for a nominal fee), and that users should feel free to bring their lunch and browse the library. This means more than a vending machine, but less than a cafeteria. In this regard, kitchen space in the existing Alumni House serves as an ideal model. [The work group recognizes that this aspect of the ELI function may require negotiations with the current food-service contractor, Chartwells.]” Page 8, New University Proposal ELI Plan

They want to raise your tuition and then use some of the funding to help build a kitchen! I know my biggest concerns in improving WSU isn't lower tuition or smaller class sizes, its making sure there's plenty of kitchens around campus where people can pay a nominal fee for coffee, that right there is what higher education is all about.

In the past year the Student Senate has held two student referendums, both of them voted overwhelmingly against the New University plan. One of the referendums even produced a record in voter turn out. One would think that when students oppose the New U plan 5 to 1 that the administration would realize a huge concern and help address the problem, but instead WSU University President Darrell Krueger said that “Ignorance was allowed to vote (in the student referendum)." Source: Winonan 3/23/05 Students voiced their opposition against something they feel is not right, and they are called ignorant.

Today's rally is a good opportunity to tell the administration, MnSCU and the rest of the state that enough is enough and we do not want to pay $1000 for something that is vague and will have no benefit to all students at Winona State. Hope to see you there!

No Women! (A Weekend in Pictures)

2005-04-25T01:29:00.000-05:00

No, I'm not anti-woman but I encountered someone who was during the adventurous weekend. Check it out yo!

The Hockey Monkey at the Guster Concert

The opening act for the Guster concert on Friday night was a band called The Zamboni's. They are a hockey oriented band that writes and play songs only about hockey while performing in hockey gear and jerseys. After standing in line for the front row area for about an hour and a half to be welcomed by The Zamboni's was nothing but a huge disappointment that at the time pissed me off. But in retrospect of the concert, they were kind of funny. What other bands can say they have The Hockey Monkey?

After The Zamboni's played, we've decided that we needed to get out of the front row area after being invaded by a cranky sea of 16 year old estrogen. Brandon at one point was poked in the ass by one of those high school girls who attempted to move him away from her in order to see the stage. The outer area of the gym was cooler because you can see all of the drunks playing around and random spurts of marijuana smoke billowing from the masses. Carbon Leaf was a good band, then after them Guster finally performed.

GUSTER

When the concert was done I found a Chris Roos roaming the streets of Winona. I took the kid to ZaZa's for a late night meal. After eating, Chris felt like pretending to be a police officer and stopped the oncoming traffic that was about 4 blocks away in either direction just to make sure I crossed safely. Thank you Officer Chris!

Officer Chris playing traffic police

On Saturday the court yard of campus was invaded by the city wide Earth Day Celebration. I stopped by to check it out and came across Rick working at the Winona County DFL booth. DFL is the term for Democrats in Minnesota, it stands for Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party. There's no difference between Democrats and a DFLer, the name is just tradition. The DFLers had a miniature donkey on hand just hanging out. So as next year's Vice President of College Democrats, I took my picture with it for next year.

Democrat donkey!

Saturday evening I went bowling with Ken, Ashley, Pete, Cassie and many others whose names I can not remember. While bowling a bunch of extremely intoxicated people emerged from the bar to dance in the bowling alley part of the building to start dancing to a 50 Cent song. Ken decided that they looked like they were having a lot of fun and decided to join them.

Ken bustin a move with the drunks at the bowling ally.

When we were done bowling, Pete took us out to Perkins where we encountered another drunk individual as we were leaving the restaurant. The man walked in holding a beer, and saw my anti-W button (can be seen in the picture of me and the donkey). After shaking my hand the man was very please to see my button. First thinking he is a fellow anti- George W. Bush fan he drunkard then said "Dude, you rock, anti-women man!" I considered his current physical condition and decided not to correct him for he might become irate and attempt to fight me, so I replied "Yeah, right on." Then he looked around and noticed the females in my group and said "No offense to the women though, but anti-woman man! That's awesome!" The drunkard was later asked to get rid of his beer because alcoholic beverages are not allowed in Perkins, the man then chugged the rest of his beer in front of the waitress.

Sunday seemed like a good day to practice some golfing around campus. I might go more into that one in future entries.

Sunday putting on campus.

While at Perkins on Saturday night a brilliant idea entered my cranium, I should create a children's television character! So I came up with "Lucky the Cigarette Smoking Lizard." Lucky will be featured on the new children's show on PBS called "Lucky's Funky Colored Smoking Jacket sponsored by Philip Morris Company." The show will have Lucky teaching kids the horrors and dangers to your health caused by smoking as well as basic numbers, all while Lucky himself chain smokes and casually drinks heavy liquor through out the show. Now the true ultimate but yet subliminal mission of the show is to teach kids the concepts of irony and contradiction, as well as to think critically of your elders and to not trust large corporations. Blue's Clues watch out, there's a new children's TV star in town and he'll buy cigs for underage kids as well.

Lucky the Cigarette Smoking Lizard

That was my weekend in pictures. A lot of stuff happened, a lot of great ideas were developed as well as special operations going down too. Now back to the harsh reality of Monday. Happy Monday everyone!

Bushism: "I have said that the sanction regime is like Swiss cheese-that meant that they weren't very effective." -Washington DC; February 22, 2001

Link of the Day: Miracle of Modern Medicine. Thank you Pat Dunlay for this one!

I'm Rick James!

2005-04-22T01:56:00.000-05:00

In Mississippi a candidate for the Hattiesburg City Council, Rick James, has been experiencing some problems in keeping his lawn signs around. In a classic example of having a wrong name, Rick James' campaign for the city council has receive some national press from a bad situation he is facing. College students in the area have taken an estimated $600 worth of lawn signs. You can read the full article here. This guy better win.

Random pictures from the week because Jared is too lazy to write today:

My altoid tin grave yard.

Bishwas lost a lot of weight this week from all the stress.

At the NORML 4-20 area, tie dying shirts.

The lady I am talking to is trying to explain how tie dye works and where to get it. I made some pretty cool shirts actually. Possibly going to wear one to the Guster concert Friday evening. Brandon and I are on a mission to get front row! I also bought some brownies and cookies from the 4-20 table for their fundraising "Baked Sale." They really know how to make some brownies.

Look what I found!

Fencing Club's newest member!

Bushism: "Actually, I-this sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about-when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me." -Hardball, MSNBC; May 31, 2000

Link of the Day: Winona High School students are ruining society as we know it with their... um, buttons?!

Tobacco Companies don't target children! That's crazy talk.

A 1936 holiday magazine ad for Lucky Strike Cigarettes. Santa is saying "Luckies are easy on my throat!"

Four Twenty!

2005-04-20T01:16:00.000-05:00

Today is April 20, better known as 4-20. The day most celebrated by marijuana enthusiasts across the world by smoking the thing they love best. Little do people know that there is a special person involved with this holiday, and that is Weed Santa.

Weed Santa at a shopping mall with a follower and this smoking canine friend, Killer. Have you been good for Weed Santa this year?

Just like his counterparts the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, Weed Santa brings joy to all of the good little boys and girls through out the world. On 4-20 Eve night, Weed Santa visits children all over to bring them good cannabis for a successful 4-20 day.

Since Weed Santa is little known through out the world, I decided to explain 4-20 Eve by adapting "Twas the Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore and change it to "Twas the Night Before 4-20 Yo." Instead of the story taking place in the home of a rich man and his family, it takes place in a 1968 Volkswagon Bus that is parked in a Wal Mart parking lot in small town USA with a couple and their weed dealer friend living out of the van.

Twas the Night Before 4-20 Yo
Adapted by Jared Stene from "Twas the Night Before Christmas"

Twas the night before 4-20, when all through the van
Not a creature was stirring, not even an ant;
The stockings were hung by the dash with care,
In hopes that Weed Santa soon would be there;
The dealer was nestled all snug in sleeping bag,
While visions of Benjamin’s danced in his head;
And mamma with her bong, and I with my bowl,
Had just settled down for a long spring night high,
When out in the parking lot there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.
Away to the glove compartment I quickly hid my stash,
Rolled down the window and threw up my hands.
The street light on the breast of the asphalt
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects around,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature green sleigh, and eight tiny tie dye reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Cannabis.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dre! now, Snoop! now, Marley and Buffet!
On, Clinton! on Willie!, Chapelle and Blitzen!
To the top of the roof! to the top of the Wal Mart!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the van roof-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of weed, and St. Cannabis too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the sun roof St. Cannabis came with a bound.
He was dressed all in hemp, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of weed he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a dealer just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they're blood shot! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was dry,
And the beard of his chin was as white;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the THC contaminated smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he coughed like a bowlful of jello.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old grower,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the sun roof he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, he drove out of sight,
"Happy 4-20 to all, and to all a good-night.
Now where’s Krispy Kreme, I’m hungry."

Bushism: "But I also made it clear to [Vladimir Putin] that it's important to think beyond the old days of when we had the concept that if we blew each other up, the world would be safe." -Washington DC; May 1, 2001

Link of the Day: National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws

Road Trip to Oregon

2005-04-18T02:12:00.000-05:00

It was a three day weekend here at Winona State, so I took advantage of it and decided to road trip to Oregon on Friday. Why Oregon? It was a cheap place to get away too, plus I hear that there's wild parties this time of year as well. There was 5 people in all who was in my party to Oregon: John Kerry, George Dubya, Sam Adams, Bill Buckner, and myself. We had our ups and downs, but it turned out to be a nice trip in the end. I had to pull over our wagon a couple times because Kerry and Dubya wouldn't stop arguing in the back seat and I got a little irritated. But good thing for Sam Adam's beer he brought along to loosen up the tension, also Bill Buckner took the reins when Sam and I chilled. Remember kids, can't operate a wagon after drinking. Funny thing happen though on our trip, I dropped my digital camera and it was acting up afterwards. Here's the pictures from our trip after I dropped my camera, enjoy!

George Dubya got bit.

Along the way when we pulled over to a rest stop, Dubya got out of the car to play around in the ditch. It turned out to be a stupid move because he got a snakebite, most likely from all of the snake like people he is associated with.

This is me after I shot that buffalo, damn thing got too close. Sam Adams took this one of me from a tall tall tree.

After a while we were getting hungry so pulled out the gun I brought along with me and decided to hunt us some food. It went really well because I shot a buffalo! Boy did those buffalo wings really hit the spot, also Bill Buckner is a pretty damn good griller.

Oregon!

Finally made it to Oregon! Doesn't just look awesome?!

Fourth coolest person to road trip to Oregon.

First thing we did when we got to Oregon was to head to the tourism office to look up where all the sweet party spots are. When we got to the office we discovered something pretty interesting, before I arrived to Oregon there has only been 9 others who have road tripped there. They added my name to a list on this giant board they keep at the office in order to keep track of everyone who road trips there in the history of the state. After spending 15 minutes in Oregon we made another discovery, this place sucks and there's no parties. We then decided to buy an airplane ticket back to Winona, just in time for classes to begin again on Monday. No wonder there's only been 10 people to road trip to Oregon, what a boring place.

Bushism: "I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure." -Interview with Associated Press; January 18, 2001

Link of the Day: Funniest Paper Ever The school year is coming to a close and that means final exams and final papers. I found this on Mr. Dunlay's AIM profile and decided to post it on SFP & FM as a public service. This is not how to write a paper, but it is always funny to point and laugh at others who have failed before us.

Concerned Tartan Alumni Association

2005-04-14T03:11:00.000-05:00

After playing around with Google Maps, I discovered something disturbing about my former learning institute, Tartan High School. The is a following message that I posted on Supper Flying Happy Hippos. "Hippos" is a Yahoo Group that is made up of mostly Tartan HS graduates. I invite you to read the following that features my recent discovery and information about the Concerned Tartan Alumni Association. If you'd like to become a member please read the message for details on how to join.

Posted on Supper Flying Happy Hippos on April 14, 2005:

Through the break through of modern internet technology I have
discovered a shocking and gross flaw in the architecture and
building placements of our former learning institution. After looking
at satellite photos of Tartan High School on the Google Maps website
that I recently featured on my blog Stick Figure Pirates & Flying
Monkeys (www.jarheadjps.blogspot.com), I discovered that our great
high school from the air in fact looks like a male sexual organ, the
penis and testicles to be exact. I was at first embarrassed and
applaud that my former place of learning, where such moral values
are preached and practiced on a daily basis in fact was a large
contradiction to the great teachings of Tartan. I've taken the
liberty of posting my evidence of my discovery in the Photos section
of this club, they are listed in the album entitled "Concerned
Tartan Alumni Association." It was after that I zoomed out and
noticed that neighboring Oakdale Elementary's circular building
design was in fact part of the cruel and sophomoric attempt of
exploiting public education facilities to display gross sexual
behavior. If we all remember our ISD 622 history, Tartan HS was
designed and built after that of Oakdale Elementary, which was then
a half circle. One is to assume that Tartan's penile design was in
fact part of a large conspiracy between that of the ISD 622 board
members and 1960's architect's sick and warped intentions of cruel
entertainment.

This discovery has shook me so much to the point of creating the
Concerned Tartan Alumni Association, a group designed to alert,
educate and change the current aerial arrangement of the
Tartan/Oakdale campuses. Our ultimate mission to produce awareness
of this disturbing discovery and encourage change. I've already
taken the steps to alert via email the current Tartan Parent
Organization president, Bruce Stene to encourage him to use his
position to inspire change and educate others of our group and
ideals. Today I ask only one thing of you, your membership to this
association. If you need inspiration, I only ask that you view my
photographic evidence that is posted in the Photos section of this
club. To join you can email me at JPStene6004@webmail.winona.edu I
thank you for your time and I hope to see you as a member of this
important cause.

Jared Stene
President/Founder
Concerned Tartan Alumni Association

Photographic evidence of my discoveries:

Tartan High School of Oakdale, MN. Evidence of Tartan's penile design.

Campuses of Tartan HS and Oakdale ES. Evidence of the conspiracy behind the 1960's sick architecture.

Outraged?! Then join the Concerned Tartan Alumni Association today!

Bushism: "The Bob Jones policy on interracial dating, I mean I spoke out on interracial dating. I spoke against that. I spoke out against interracial dating. I support the policy of interracial dating." - CBS News; February 25, 2000

Link of the Day: Remember playing the game "Oregon Trail" in elementary school? Well you can play the hunting part of that game at The Oregon Trail Online

FEMA In Da Hizouse!

2005-04-13T01:43:00.000-05:00

On Sunday I was watching a 60 Minutes report on Homeland Security handouts and learned about how current system of funding for homeland security on a local level may be to loose. I was watching this report and then they mentioned how the federal government sponsored a program to create a rap for kids to teach them about emergency preparedness. First I didn't believe it was true but sure enough it didn't take long to find it. The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) wrote this and posted it on the FEMA for Kidz website. A rap! So apparently someone took my suggestion of using rap stars to promote federal government policy a little too far. Here's the rap:

Disaster . . . it can happen anywhere,
But we've got a few tips, so you can be prepared
For floods, tornadoes, or even a 'quake,
You've got to be ready - so your heart don't break.

Disaster prep is your responsibility
And mitigation is important to our agency.

People helping people is what we do
And FEMA is there to help see you through
When disaster strikes, we are at our best
But we're ready all the time, 'cause disasters don't rest.

Written and performed by Scott J. Wolfson

You can also listen to the rap performed on the FEMA for Kidz website.

Ever wondered where little sea turtle guy from Finding Nemo ended up?

Ok, so I may or may not of kidnapped someone's turtle stuff animal, and may or may not flushed it down the Prentiss toilet. But in the end I'm getting a mocha out of it!

I was cleaning some stuff around my desk and found my Iraqi Most Wanted playing cards. After looking at the pictures I noticed something, everyone on the cards look like they are from the "Burt Reynolds Bad Impersonator Club."

Don't you see it?!

Bushism: "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

Link of the Day: Google Maps! Google has now come out with a special feature where you can get maps and driving directions using satellite imagery. It's one of the coolest things ever, I found my house on it. Just go to Google Maps and then click on satellite in the upper right hand corner and type in your address to see if yours is lucky enough to be in satellite photos.

LAKE CITY RESPONDS!

2005-04-11T00:50:00.000-05:00

After sending a second letter last week, the City of Lake City has finally responded to my proposal that I first sent them about 4 weeks ago. Click here to read the letter I sent. To sum up to those of you who haven't been up to date with my great idea, basically Lake City claims that they are the "Birthplace of Waterskiing" but each time I pass through the place no one seems to be water skiing. Basically I felt that I was being lied to and suggested to them that there needs to be someone water skiing on the lake 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. I have more details in the letter I sent, you can click on the link above to view that.

The letter from City of Lake City.

Lake City's response:
April 4, 2005

Dear Mr. Stene:

Thank you for your letter regarding your suggestion for water skiing on Lake Pepin. I am forwarding your letter to our local chamber of commerce for their review.

Sincerely.
Ron Johnson
City Administrator

Finally, the world can now be a better place due to the fact that Lake City has taken the steps necessary to listen and consider my great proposal.

For those of you who haven't seen Lake City, I have provided you with the following pictures that depict the city. These were taken on my way to the Twins home opener from a coach bus.

Picture of Lake Pepin on Friday, April 8, 2005 at 4:34 pm. There were not water skiiers present.

Evidence to their self proclaimed title of "Birthplace of Waterskiing"

Banners that line the streets of Lake City.

Part of a mural painted on the side of a building in downtown Lake City.

Now that I got a response I look forward to working with the great people that work for the City of Lake City to improve their town, and perhaps all of us.

Sen. Jared

2005-04-11T00:32:00.000-05:00

WSU Spring Student Senate Election Results, Sophomore race:
*Stene, Jared 239
*Meyer, Lindsey 159
*Stelpflug, Lindsay 151
Stawinoga, Nycole 135

Write-Ins:
Bergmen, Bjorn 1
Brengosz, Emily 1
Dennis, Greg 1
Donald 1
Enfurter, Frank 1
Finke, Dusty 1
Fuller, Nathan 1
Glynn, Nate 1
Jesus 1
Mickey 1
Minor, Ellis 1
Myers, Jennifer 1
Robinson, Steve 1
Smallbeck, Brian 1
Ylvisaker, Brent 1
*= wins seat

With the biggest margin in the entire Spring Election for all races for next year's Student Senate, I won by 80 votes. A big thank you goes out to everyone who supported and helped me out, it really means a lot. Also thank you to the non-WSU people who tried to vote for me but were not allowed to (Pat Dunlay and Tony Wind).

As promised, Chuck Norris did get a vote. The following are the write-in candidate results from the College of Liberal Arts Senator race:
Pearson, Craig 2
Avers, Elise 1
Bruesesitz, Matthew 1
Crooke, Mike 1
Finke, Dusty 1
Fredrickson, Adam 1
Gossman, Laura 1
Iverson, Andy 1
Jezus the mattress giant 1
Krasaway, Danielle 1
Kuzenski, Steve 1
McClanahan, Erik 1
McPot, Smokey 1
Mosser, Jeff 1
Norris, Chuck 1
Potsmoker, Johnny 1
Powers, Caitlin 1
Reese, Travis 1
Reese, Travis D. 1
Schoenecker, Rachel 1
Smith, Carol 1
VanTassel, Nicole 1
Warrington, Chris 1
Weide, Layla 1
White, Paul 1
Wold, Mollie 1

Good job to Johnny Potsmoker and Smokey McPot who also earned votes in this year's election. Friday night I had a late night celebration with Chris after I returned from the Twins game,we enjoyed the La Gloria Cubana Serie R.

Damn The Twins Loosing

2005-04-10T23:30:00.000-05:00

My weekend started by attending the home opener for the Minnesota Twins. The event was put on by UPAC so it was relatively cheap for the ticket and bus ride. After a two and half hour bus ride and sitting in rush hour traffic we arrived to Minneapolis greeted by the Minneapolis Police and security guards. Since this was going to be a sell out game, the security presence was very heavy around the Metrodome. From buses being searched for bombs to uniformed officers carrying automatic rifles, terrorism stayed away from the Metrodome that night by the Minneapolis Police and the crack rent a cop squads.

In order to get near the Metrodome our bus was searched for bombs.

The armed Minneapolis police officer that boarded our bus and searched the over head compartments and bags.

The bomb sniffing dog that searched the outside of our bus, now he found something explosive.

After the bus was searched I was able to go inside the Metrodome. I noticed that they updated the Rave Milk. Rave Milk is the term given by myself, Carla and Aaron to the giant inflatable milk statue in right field, when a Twin hits a homerun strobe lights flash on the thing, thus causing raveness.

The New Rave Milk

The Twins went on to loose 5-1 in front of a crowd of 48,000, way to not disappoint Twinkies. After I noticed this guy I concluded that it wasn't their fault, instead it was this that made them loose:

A confused man wearing a cowboy hat. My theory why the Twins lost that night.

No, you don’t look “rebellious”

2005-04-08T14:39:00.000-05:00

Chris and I were enjoying a very well constructed mocha yesterday while sitting outside of the Blue Heron and we noticed another pet peeve of mine, the Honda Gold Wing “motorcycle.” For those of you unaware with the Gold Wing here’s a picture of two them:

An example of what motorcycling is not. I decided to conceal the identity of these individuals in order to prevent further embarrassment for them.

Now if you notice, it’s not the typical motorcycle, in fact I don’t even consider it a motorcycle. It’s of an embarrassment on wheels to the person operating it. Look at that thing! There are so many things that aren’t right about those pictures I don’t know where to begin. First of all, this machine completely defeats the purpose of motorcycling, which is just roaming free, just you and the road. It’s not you and your partner you can talk to on a microphone hauling a trailer full of crap. A trailer! Motorcycles should never have trailers! If these people actually consider themselves rebellious then they need to stop sniffing the glue they were inhaling when they were buying these things. According to the Honda website, this year’s model of the Gold Wing can go for $18,599! After buying your trailer, your helmets with microphones and your matching Harley Davidson jackets for you and your riding partner you could of easily bought a Ford Taurus, which in the end has just about the same purpose of the Gold Wing only with out the bugs flying at your head. After ranting about this to Chris for a while he suggested “Well maybe they just wanted to feel free?” If they really want to get a feeling of freedom while on the road then take that Ford Taurus you just bought and knock out the wind shield. There you go, your freedom on the road.

So what is the ideal way of motorcycling? I think it can be best summed up by this picture:

Peter Fonda in Easy Rider proudly showing the real way to motorcycle.

If a loved one is considering buying this thing, please for the sake of their pride talk them out of it.

Bushism: “It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas.” –Beaverton, Oregon; September 25, 2000

Link of the Day:
More press coverage of Jared's WSU Senate campaign.

Sex Scandal Rocks Sesame Street

2005-04-06T03:21:00.000-05:00

Beloved children's star Ernie engaging in activity with an unidentified co-worker.

SEASAME STREET, USA (SFP & FM)—An anonymous source today leaked photographic evidence to several news outlets revealing beloved children’s star Ernie engaging in sexual activity with an other Sesame Street character. The source was also able to issue a press release with the photos:

“I count ONE, ONE sex scandal AH! AH! AH!” the anonymous source stated. “TWO, TWO puppet’s careers will be jeopardized AH! AH! AH!”

Photos show a chicken suited Ernie in a sexual pose behind an another anonymous character, some other sources close to the Sesame Street circles speculate that the second party may be a honker. The reasons behind the anonymity of the second party are still unknown but the original recipient of the photos and press release told other media members that the photos were received in that fashion. The photos do however clue to the time frame this activity took place. Ernie’s chicken suit attire is only assumed to be from his week long promotional appearances for the Chattanooga, TN Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant, which according the restaurant took place during the week of March 14, 2005.

Ernie declined a request for an interview, but select co-workers expressed shock and disbelief with Ernie’s actions.

“This is a really horrifying thing Ernie has done” said co-worker Big Bird. “Not does this embarrass Ernie and his partner but really brings down the entire street.”

Big Bird later went on to express profound anger towards the anonymous source that leaked this information to the main stream media. He also implied that physical force might be deployed in order to track down this source. PBS, the television show’s broadcaster, has issued a statement announcing that an independent investigation will be launched to further probe the manor and to punish any violators of company policy. Sesame Street has been a children’s television juggernaut since its debut in 1969.

This scandal is brought to you by the letter P and number 7.

Diddy Returns!

2005-04-05T02:54:00.000-05:00

My friend P. Diddy says "Vote or Die!"

As he reminded us during Rick Howden's campaign, P. Diddy reminds all WSU Students to "Vote or Die!" this week. Especially if you are a current freshman at WSU and reading this now, please vote for Jared Stene in the Sophomore Senator race. Polls open today, Tuesday, at Noon and close this Friday at Noon. Take the time right now to vote by going to www.winona.edu/studentsenate/elections

Make sure to vote now! Starting today my campaign team and I will be going door to door in the dorms in what has been officially dubbed as the "Jared for Senate Rock N' Friggin Roll Tour." Tour dates will be as followed:
Tuesday- Sheehan Hall 530-8 pm
Wednesday- Prentiss-Lucas Hall (Lead singer Jared will be replaced by Josh Wennes), and remainder of Sheehan Hall 6-8pm
Thursday- Lourdes Residential College on West Campus 6-8 pm
Rock n' friggin roll man and as always Full STENE Ahead!

Stick Figure Pirates & Flying Monkeys officially endorses the following candidates in the WSU Student Senate Spring 2005 Election:
Ryan Flynn for President
Erin Feger for Vice-President
Laura Berens for Treasurer
and of course, Jared Stene for sophomore senator.

Also let it be noted that Walker Texas Ranger star Chuck Norris will receive one write in vote in some type of race this election. I'll be sure to show evidence of this when the results have been announced. Vote for Chuck or Else You'll Be Chopped!

Photoriffic Weekend

2005-04-03T23:55:00.000-05:00

Well I finally got my camera back from Spain last weekend! Apparently it can speak Spanish, but I don't speak Spanish so I had to put it to good use this weekend and try to snap some English back into it. Here we go!

Friday

Sent another letter to Lake City

I started the weekend by re-sending my water skiing proposal to the good people of Lake City, MN. It has been about three or so weeks since I have sent my first letter, they just must be in shock on how good of a plan it is that just forgot to send a response. You can view the letter by clicking here.

Brandon mountain biking, only without a bike.

Friday night I went to the Acoustic Cafe, (Coffeehouse member of The Jared Stene Coffee Growers Support) I was with Brandon and Monica and the performer was a little interesting. It was an older guy with a cool newsboy hat, but I thought he was a little crazy when he started making trumpet and trombone noises while he was "singing." Then on the way back Brandon wanted to show off his cool BMXing skills.

Saturday

Winona's Rubgy tournament, anyone want to scrum?

Saturday morning, Josh and I went to see some good ol' rugby action! The Winona Rugby Club was holding its annual tournament in Winona, and I was in attendance for one of the games. It was my first live rugby game and it was a lot of fun. Football players have nothing on these guys, saw some crazy hits and they are not even wearing pads! My knee hurt for these guys.

Late Saturday night Bishwas and I were chilling in the room at like 12 am, and then I found my super bouncy balls that I just bought from Wal Mart. (No, its not a sexual phrase you sicko) So we decided to try and throw them as hard as we can against the floor and see how many times we can have it bounce off the ceiling and the floor. It was pretty fun, best to play late at night in order to piss others off.

Bishwas' turn in our cool new game with bouncy balls.

My turn with our bouncy ball game.

Then after playing the cool new game, I went up to Josh's room and did some rocking out. He got this picture of me, very rock n' roll.

Am I punk yet?!

Sunday

Then on Sunday I spent some time going around campus and fixing my fliers for the campaign (Campaign Blog). I got this picture of what it looks like now when you enter Kyrzsko Commons (WSU's Student Union building). This week is the big week, polls open at noon on Tuesday!

Main entrance to the student union building. You can see two of my fliers in that picture.

So that was basically my weekend in pictures. Did a lot of jumping, bouncing, saw some scruming. What more could you ask for in a weekend?!

Bushism: "[T]he illiteracy level of our children are appalling." -Washington, DC; January 23, 2004

My New Gun

2005-04-01T03:22:00.000-06:00

Jared's new gun he bought from the Winona Wal-Mart.

Yesterday I went to Wal Mart and I bought a gun. No seriously, I did, I'm on the waiting list now while they do the whole back round check thing but I paid all the money for it now. I'll add it to the list of things to pay off over the summer. Chris helped talk me through and convinced me to buy one in the first place, so I went with his advice and I bought one. It's a pretty nice gun actually, I found the website from the gun maker and you can check out the specs of my gun by clicking here. After I am cleared, I plan on storing it in my closet for the remainder of the year and then keep it on at home in case of something happens such as an attempted robbery.

While I was at Wal Mart with Chris, we encountered where my old phone ended up. It's just not right.

My old phone.

Bushism: "There's an old saying in Tennessee- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee- that says, fool me once, shame on- shame on you. Fool me- you can't get fooled again." -Nashville, Tennessee; September 17, 2002

Saying of the Day: "Wiggty-Wiggty-Whack!" Possibly the new campaign slogan for Jared for WSU Senate (Campaign Blog).

Link of the Day: Whoop there we go! Video of Pat Buchanan being attacked with salad dressing by a guy with a mohawk. I find it funny, probably watched it about 6 times already.

Got Some Press! Woop! Woop!

2005-03-30T02:34:00.000-06:00

My campaign for Senate got some press coverage on the Cyber Indee! The website is an independent news website written by current mass communications major students for the news writing course. Next semester I am taking this course, thus me writing for the Indee.

You can view the article on my campaign by clicking here.

CURRENT WSU FRESHMAN: Email me if you would like to be added to the Jared Stene for WSU Senate email list! Full STENE ahead on April 5!

College Dems West Wing & Game Night

Last night WSU College Dems held a West Wing & Games Night in the Student Union. The event produced massive crowds and was fairly entertaining.

Bushism: "Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican." -Declining to answer reporters' questions at the Summit of Americas; Quebec City, Canada; April 21, 2001

Chicken Cook of the Week:

My room mate Bishwas, he can make some good chicken!

Link of the Day: Vote a 10 on this photo for Jone's Soda! Its a cool picture and Greg is in it too! He's on the far left, the more "10" votes they get the better chances they have of getting on bottles of Jone's soda!

Reading on Hygrometer on Humidor: 71%
Current Resident's of The Humidor: 1 Monte Cristo, 2 Garcia & Vega English Coronas, 1 Cuban Sandwich Torpedo, 1 La Gloria Cubana Serie R, 4 Swisher Sweets. Cigars are owned by Brandon, Ocho, and Jared.

Dept. Of Justice: TiVo Used For Surveillance Activities

2005-03-29T02:14:00.000-06:00

A TiVo box/surveillance device in the home of a Minnesota family.

WASHINGTON D.C. (SFP &FM)--Today in a news conference held by the Department of Justice, Deputy Press Secretary Todd McDobvanich admitted that several government bureaus and agencies are conducting surveillance activities through the use of TiVo boxes. The list of individuals being watched by the federal government still remains confidential, but customers with the TiVo service are being held hostage by the television enhancing device.

"Its pretty ridiculous" said one Woodbury, Minnesota man. "I mean I talk about how I am not down with Bush and is gang, then when I leave my place to go to the store and I'm pulled over by federal agents for a 'broken tail light' after they shoot at my car. Then I get imprisoned for 32 hours straight with out being able to make a phone call, that's not right."

An anonymous TiVo developer revealed that the United States government is capable of listening to any conversation that occurs in a 900 sq. foot radius of the TiVo box. Customers are lured to the TiVo service with features such as pausing live TV, rewinding live TV, and digitally recording any program that is aired on television. Government agencies are able to record conversations, track library records, monitor all telecommunications activities and charge coffee purchases to the surveillance subject's credit accounts.

"I really love the fact you can record anything on TV!" said one happy TiVo customer, who has not realized the audio interference experienced while using TiVo is actually the federal government; not the fault of the family cat. "I really enjoy our ability to pick up phone conversations!" stated one FBI agent, who just found out that the family's teenage son is making phone calls to phone sex services. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) announced its intentions to file a law suit against the Department of Justice to stop the use of TiVo as a surveillance device in an emergency press conference held hours ago.

When reached for a comment, the TiVo company announced it's bold marketing move by offering TiVo in a number of different world markets. The television enhancement service will be extended by the end of 2005 to North Korea, Iran, Iraq, Syria, China, and Afghanistan.

A mandate established

2005-03-28T23:53:00.000-06:00

P-L's new Treasurer, Mr. Josh Wennes

In a flawless land slide victory, Mr. Josh Wennes was elected Monday evening as Prentiss Lucas Hall Council Treasurer, rushing in what historians are now calling "The Wennes Enlightenment Era" of P-L history. The victory established a mandate to broken ping pong tables throughout out P-L's domain "We should use the current funds to repair the broken ping pong table." I hope people write that quote down, words of a true statesman. Congrats Josh, a good start to things to come.

I have been fairly busy lately with my current campaign for WSU Student Senate and that prevents me from posting on this blog frequently, I apologize for this. There's been a lot things going on these past two weeks. This Thursday in Somsen auditorium the Mr. WSU pageant will be held. Student Services committee has been hard at work wrapping up the final touches to pull off a good event, if you'll be in the Winona area on Thursday night I highly recommend attending for it will be fun times!

Here are some random pictures from Saturday's bon fire at Korf's house to celebrate Seth Snyder's return from Marine Corps training. Photos taken by Joe G. Semper Fi!

No possible explanation for this picture, just like modern art.

Feeling loved by Lue.

Blunders

2005-03-24T01:04:00.000-06:00

The state ultimately responsible for my frustration with this years NCAA Basketball Tournament.

Someone please explain to me why the NCAA Basketball Tournament decided to go insane and completely screw up my bracket?! Anyone?! As a result of all these upsets in the tournament, my chances of winning a 2006 Lincoln Mark LT truck from CBSSportsline.com have gone down the toilet. University of Vermont beating Syracuse?! Didn't even know the sport of basketball existed north of Massachusetts, let alone them knocking off a number four seed. But most of my anger lies with the state of West Virginia, thank you West Virginia for knocking out one of my Final Four picks (Wake Forest) in the second round, every office worker across the United States with a bracket thanks you as well. In fact, because of your win that was not suppose to occur and thus ruining my chances of winning a 2006 Lincoln Mark LT truck from CBSSportsline.com, I think that y'all (West Virginia language) should buy me that car I could of won. I sense a possible letter brewing. Oh and thanks to my so called "sleeper team" for choking and not coming through for me. I'm disappointed with George Washington University for not pulling through for me, I mean you're named after the first president of this country! It is required in order to hold the name of a founding father that you should be able to at least make it to the Sweet Sixteen, you don't even deserve the name "George Washington." Well at least my tournament champion is still in it. Thank you North Carolina, seriously, you fellas didn't choke when all of your other high ranking team friends decided to conspire against my chances of winning a car.

Bushism: "And there's no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail." - Washington, DC; October 4, 2001

Mocha Withdrawal Marathon: 53 hours, 29 minutes without a mocha.
Results of Mocha Withdrawal Marathon: Two major spelling errors on one campaign flier for Jared Stene for WSU Senate (Campaign Blog). The biggest one was when someone kindly pointed out that instead of my last name of STENE in a caption, I wrote the word STATE instead. The good man Josh Wennes helped me out for about a good 45 minutes going to each of my fliers around campus and fixing the error with a white out tape pen. Thank you Mr. Wennes for your help, and thank you Mom for the white out tape pen.

Link of the Day: Guess the Dictator or Sit-Com Character. This thing will literally blow your mind away! You think of a person that is either a known dictator or a television sit-com character and then answer Yes or No questions as it guesses your person. It has guessed every single person I have picked, fun website to play with when you're bored.

Throwing my hat in.....

2005-03-22T04:04:00.000-06:00

Jared Stene for WSU Senate. Vote for Jared on April 5!

I am pleased to announce today my candidacy for the sophomore position on the WSU Student Senate! You can learn more on my campaign by visiting the official Jared Stene for Senate Blog.

If you're interested in sporting the official Jared for WSU Senate sticker, email me through the Jared Stene for Senate Blog.

If you attend Winona State and will be a sophomore next semester, I ask that you please vote for me on April 5 and to encourage all of your friends to do the same!

"Full STENE ahead on April 5!"

Socizzle Security

2005-03-20T22:45:00.000-06:00

I was reading Talking Points Memo and I noticed a commentary by a blogger about a recent New York Times article talking about how President Bush's sales pitch on privatized social security is not attracting the youth demographic. Then the article goes on to interview advertising people and "experts" on the youth generation to get their take on how the Bush administration should go about targeting young voters to get aboard with the President's plan. This is a quote from the article: "Some suggest replacing Mr. Bush with a star offering broader appeal - like Donald Trump or Arnold Schwarzenegger." Donald Trump?! I know all my friends want to be like Trump, wear what Trump wears, buy what Trump buys, so if he pitches Bush's social security agenda then hell I'll go for it!

If the Bush administration really wants to target the 18 to 29 year olds, I think they should use rap stars, think about that one.

Ludacris, Lil' John with Commander Chizzef (President Bush) in Detroit on the Privatize Dis, Biotch Tour.

In a better effort to pitch Bush's social security plan, the White House announced today that it's kicking off it's Privatize Dis, Biotch Tour 2005. The tour will feature rap stars Ludacris and Lil' John along with the President who will be under the rap name "Commander Chizzef." The tour will make 15 stops through out the United States in order to appeal to the younger generation.

From the kitchen table

2005-03-15T02:52:00.001-06:00

I am writing from my kitchen table via a new found neighboring wireless network in sunny Woodburry, Minnesota; home of bad drivers and the definition of suburban sprawl. Every inch of Woodbury must be covered by a Gap, Starbucks or shopping center, or else they have failed in their mission to bring more horrible drivers to the area. Currently there is a small patch of woods that is visible from the apartment's porch, the area is about 70 yards long by 20 yards wide; the City Council has just approved for the building of a mini Subway to serve the 10 families that reside in the apartments and houses near by.

I'd thought I would share something I have found today in all the other blogs and from the New York Times website. I hope that all 15 of you that are reading this blog during my spring break become intrigued or interested in this.

The New York Times has uncovered "prepackaged news" segments that government agencies were creating and distributing to news outlets around the US to promote and propagate certain Bush policies. This comes after the Armstrong Williams scandal, in which a conservative columnist received payments ($240,000 to be exact) from the Bush administration to promote the controversial No Child Left Behind Act without disclosing that he was being paid by the Bush Administration. Trying to find real news and the truth is becoming harder and is becoming a lost art of journalism it seems like. Trusting the main stream media is also becoming harder these days when the government's propaganda films end up being passed off as actual journalism. Read the New York Times article via MichaelMoore.com here. I watched one of the "news" segments on the actual New York Times site and it reminded me of the 1940's and 1950's news reel propaganda films shown in movie houses across the country, you can access the videos by clicking on "New York Times" on the link I post above and then navigating to the actual article.

I found this on a TV infomercial at 3 am, Bible on DVD. It's the Bible on a DVD, I thought this was interesting and mildly funny.

Rick Howden is currently in the Caribbean right now. He was being some what of a dork last week while constantly bringing up the fact that he is going to the Caribbean and made it his mission to rub in that fact to everyone he encountered. Rick was also thinking about staying down there forever and not coming back while adopting the "Jimmy Buffet lifestyle." Thank you Rick for pointing out the fact that you are in a island paradise while I am spending spring break in 30 degree snowy weather. What to read Rick's blog and post evil comments pointing out the rare bad weather that occurs in the Virgin Islands?! Click here to visit Rick's Blog.

I successfully single handedly balanced Minnesota's budget! I checked out MPR's Budget Balancer and gave my go at balancing the budget, hell I even created a surplus. Click here to view my budget suggestion for the state.

Spring Break

2005-03-11T17:47:00.000-06:00

The Mocha. My spring break, only they'll mostly be from Caribou.

It's SPRING BREAK!! I do not have any formal plans right now as of what I am doing but I plan on doing some studying, starting up the ol' propaganda machine again, sip on a lot of mochas, try to find my hazmat suit, and wait for a response from the City of Lake City.

Here are some links you can enjoy over spring break when I'm not updating SFP & FM very often:
Buy a Support Kerry '08 blue bracelet! Rick and I both have one of these!

Kicking Ass The Democratic National Committee official blog.

Conan O'Brien Walker Texas Ranger Clips By far the most hilarious things on TV now. My personal favorite is the Clip #2 collection, thanks to Commissioner Dunlay for showing me this link.

Conan Clips Clips of one of the most hilarious shows on TV from the official NBC Conan O'Brien website.

State of Minnesota Budget Balancer Think you have what it takes to balance the state budget for Minnesota?! Try your fiscal policy skills with this fun program from the Minnesota Public Radio website, I learned about this today in my American Politics class with Prof. Downs today.

Fish Bowl DC The blog of the first bloggers ever to sit in on the White House Press Corps, which took place earlier in the week.

Talking Points Memo Another well known political leftist blog, I personally check this one every day.

Bushism: [A]s you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say." -Washington DC; October 28, 2003

United States to Annex Baja From Mexico

2005-03-11T03:16:00.000-06:00

New map of the United States with the recently annexed Baja. Two new states West Florida & Bushigan were added to the union.

CRAWFORD, Texas (SFP & FM)--In a surprising international development, the United States and Mexico reached an agreement for the United States to annex the Baja California territories from Mexico. As a result of this annexation, two new states were added to the United States; West Florida and Bushigan, which is named after the former US President George H.W. Bush. Helping to bring the deal into a reality, Chairman of the political committee People for a More Symmetrical America (PFAMSA) Patrick Dunlay brought the two world leaders to the table to negotiate this new deal. Dunlay is now a presidential appointed commissioner of the Baja Annexation Commission designed to over see the new addition to the US.

"It gives me great honor today, to use our already great relationship with our Spanish speaking neighbors of the south to help make the United States a more symmetrical country, geographically. I'd like to personally thank Commissioner Dunlay for helping President Fox and I come to terms and annex Baja." President Bush remarked at the news conference held at his ranch in Crawford, Texas.

President Fox of Mexico with Commissioner Dunlay and President Bush

PFAMSA was created three years ago as a lobbying group for a symmetrical America.

"I mean look at the US map, it just makes sense to annex Baja and make the country symmetrical." said Commissioner Dunlay.

Dunlay's previous diplomatic experience came from his experience in student government at Tartan High School (Oakdale, MN); which was valid enough for President Bush to appoint him as Head Commissioner of a government commission. The new land acquisition creates a shake up in the current Congressional system as well as modification to the current Electoral College system. Special elections will be held in next three months to elect representatives to Congress as well as new governors. West Florida and Bushigan are now the hot travel spots for the United States, which has witnessed an exodus of travelers in the past 24 hours.

I'm Googleized & In Space!

2005-03-10T01:06:00.000-06:00

I'm Googleized!

It gives me great pleasure to announce that this blog is now appearing on Google! Everyone should take out their planners, calendars and write this date down for you are witnessing world history. I also found out that by Googleing “Jared Stene” that a number of different things come up, including this blog.

”Jared Stene” on Google

Now I Googled my name because I’m currently trying to locate all of my long lost websites and pages I have produced over the course of my internet career. This is certainly no easy task. But after I Googled my name I made a number of fascinating discoveries. First of all, my letter to Snoop Dogg appears on the very top of the search results, very shizzle. Then a number of different entries from this blog, as well as different pages from the Student Senate website and Winonan website that have to deal with my associate senator position. There’s a promotional page from Dickinson State’s Business Challege program which I attended in the summers before junior and senior year of high school. There’s a bad picture of me on that page, maybe you can find it. Another finding from Google is a web page listing the 2001 State Freestyle Qualifiers. I’m listed in the heavy weight division at the bottom of the page but they have me from Totino- Grace, I went to Tartan, they screwed up. Also I never wrested a match in order to qualify for state, I was that “intimidating.” The Bored Club page appeared as well, it was club that was started in high school in order to prevent boredom.

Now the biggest discovery that caught my attention was my name being listed on a NASA website. First I thought that it could be a different Jared P Stene, but I clicked on the page and my family was listed as well. Now why is my family listed on a NASA website?! Apparently my name, and those of my family, is on a microchip on the Stardust comet probe satellite! During the State Fair ’98 our family visited the NASA/JPL booth in the technology building, and eventually some how signed a list of names to be sent to space. I soon learned that it is common practice that NASA gathers names from the public to be placed on space probes. My name is one of over 1 million names aboard the Stardust probe that is flying to a comet to gather samples and return to Earth in 2006. Currently the Stardust probe is 312,605,000 miles away from Earth. Now I can use this tid bit in interviews and put in my resume as “Name listed on NASA space probe currently positioned 312,605,000 miles from Earth.” In the event that the probe is captured by aliens, I would be one of the first million people for them to probe. It is because of this I am drafting the “Jared Stene Anti Body Cavity Invision Defense Plan” or JSABCIDP for short just in case ET and his sick little friends decide to stick it to me, literally.

The microchip carrying my name in space aboard the Stardust Space probe.

You can find my name on the Stardust website by clicking here. The name is near the bottom of the list in alphabetical order.

Last night I was watching the channel KTTC that is out of Rochester, MN then a commercial appeared for the Minute Man Indoor Gun Range. It was by far the one of the most freighting things I have seen on TV, next to the TV show Cheaters on the WB. The ad tries to draw females to the gun range and tries to use sex appeal as well to entice new customers. The end of the commercial has a woman saying “Girls just wanna have fun!” and then she draws her hand gun and shots a target that explodes. Who would have thought that an indoor gun range would run TV commercials? I’m most definitely in a conservative area, with bad TV. Minute Man Indoor Gun Range

Frogs and Conspiracy

2005-03-09T02:26:00.000-06:00

One of the coolest home decorations I have encountered

I was looking at my picture collection this evening and I dug up this one I took at Holly's house over winter break. They're frogs, that are playing instruments! Aren't they cool?! I really like them for some reason. It's appropriate at this time to mention that my camera is actually in Spain right now being used by my Uncle for his trip there. So if you've noticed that a lot of the pictures lately haven't really been of recent things, with the exception of my tattoo for which I borrowed Chris' camera. Since I don't have my camera yet, this month's Crazy Winonan of the Month Award won't be awarded till the end of the month, or maybe in very early April. I personally believe that I can't not accurately convey the craziness of the winner of this award without some sort of visual aid.

Last week, a member of the 9-11 commission, Michael Hurly, visited WSU to give a speech on the global war on terrorism as well as working for the government. Overall I think that in the end his speech was more of a motivational speech to inspire us to join the government. At one point he was so motivational I was expecting him to say "I lived in a van, down by the river." But I found one of his arguments interesting though. He stated that terrorism stems from world poverty, and that terrorists are products of a poverty stricken area and grow anger towards the United States for their current situation. If you think about it though, there is some validness to his argument. I would also go on to say that the current administration is not doing a good job on handling the issue of world poverty. I've been reading various reports that Bush is coming up short on funding various poverty relief funds that he promised to fund during his first term. Which doesn't surprise me at all, because after all it costs a lot to invade other countries and go after fictional weapons of mass destruction. Yesterday, when I was walking through Minne Hall here at WSU I noticed posters on several message boards a posting with the bold statement "YOU ARE BEING LIED TOO." After that caught my attention I decided to walk over to it and read what it had to say. Apparently it was from a conspiracy theorist stating that Michael Hurly is a liar and it goes on to discuss various things like a number of the hijackers are still alive, that the 9-11 Commission did a poor job and members were influenced by oil companies, even going to the extent that an airplane didn't actually hit the Pentagon on 9-11. I think that its very interesting this day and age the various conspiracy theories that develop over time, things from the JFK assignation to the moon landings all have had their die hard conspiracy theorists. Though I don't agree with most of what was on the posting I encountered, but I do think that conspiracy theorists can sometimes provide some valid information and certain way of seeing things that are not covered by our consumer based media. I'm going to try and get a copy of that flier and try posting it on here just to give an example of what is being said.

In other happenings I attended a meeting today for the New U Ad Hoc committee which was established in response to the student referendum vote to not support the New U plan. The goal of the committee is to provide information and try to raise awareness of the strong student voice that opposes the New U and its potential tuition increase of $1000 to Winona State students. I'd like to remind WSU students to start voicing your concerns and opposition to the administration of our dear Winona State, to let them know that "No, we don't want a tuition increase" and force them to start listening to us and that they should start taking action to lower this potential fee. I posted a special button on the top right area of this blog to help you out with that. I will provide more information on the New U subject as it comes.

Bushism: "This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And having said that, all options are on the table."Brussels, Belgium, Feb. 22, 2005

Today's Exciting but Mundane Activity Jared Did: Went to Menard's with Flynn and Kari for Student Services committee to buy atomic clocks for the van service to and from West Campus. I tried finding a pick axe there for a special project of mine but failed to find one, I also want a blow horn too, but couldn't that either.

Jared's New Aspiration: I aspire to find and purchase a hazmat suit similar to the one that is featured by the Beastie Boys in their music video for "Intergalactic." Wouldn't be cool to run around Winona in it and randomly break dance on certain corners?! Maybe I need to start a new charity to fund this aspiration. Which reminds me, The Jared Stene Coffee Growers Support is still taking donations! You'll find a link to my entry about it on the right hand side of this page.

Link of the Day: Conspiracy Planet Right now it's featuring an article authored by Giuliana Sgrena, who is the Italian journalist who was recently shot at by American troops at a traffic check point in Iraq. The article is about possibly use of naplam in Falluja and the editor of the website implies that this article might be a reason why US forces shot at her vehicle, which resulted in the death of an Italian security agent.

On A Mission

2005-03-08T02:48:00.000-06:00

VanGuston McOlson in action to set a world record of "Most Annoying Asshole"

BIWABIK, Minnesota (SFP & FM)--In a life long quest to become Guinness World Record's "Most Annoying Asshole," VanGuston McOlson announced the launch of his US tour to spread his annoyingness. A former resident of the iron-range town Biwabik, MN (population 934), McOlson established a long track record of annoying citizens. In 1993, a town referendum voted 831- 42 to kick McOlson out of his residence located downtown on the basis that his cow bell became too annoying. McOlson currently resides in exile 15 miles north of Biwabik in a log cabin. It has been rumored that during certain times of day his cow bell can still be heard faintly by some residents and school children.

"They can take away my land but they can't take away my dream to be annoying with a cowbell" McOlson commented during a press conference held to announce his new US tour.

Recently McOlson was spotted at Giant's Ridge Skiing area during a Minnesota State High School cross country ski race. Although Mr. McOlson did have troubles initially obtaining a security clearance for his bell, he was eventually cleared moments before the race began by the management of Giant's Ridge. During the race he achieved his annoying status after being on the ski grounds for no more than 6 minutes. Today McOlson just announced a 60-stop "annoying tour" which spans to both coasts along with stops in every state in the continental US with the exception of Rhode Island and Oregon. The goal of the tour is to earn McOlson a spot in the Gunniess World Record book as "Most Annoying Asshole." This title is currently held by Tobais Dingledorfhoffer of Stockholm, Sweden by means of yolding set back in 1933.

The sheriff of New Salem, North Dakota announced his intentions of arresting McOlson after learning that his town is on the 60-stop tour. Sheriff John Randaowski released a statement announcing his intentions to arrest VanGuston McOlson in violation of a city ordinance which states that any cow bell ringing is illegal within 20 miles of New Salem Sue, the world's largest cow and icon of the western North Dakotan town. McOlson released a statement two hours after Randaowski's statement.

The statement read: "I fully intend to press on with my current tour schedule to achieve my dream regardless of threats of area law enforcement agencies, especially in the town of New Salem, ND. Any arrests will be conceived as a violation of my 1st amendment constitutional rights and I will fight any charges to the best of my ability in order to gain the title of "Most Annoying Asshole."

The sheriff's office in New Salem was not able to be reached for comment regarding McOlson's new proclamation but local bloggers report that the sheriff is about to request additional man power from nearby Dickinson to deal with the new potential threat. The tour will be launched on March 11, 2005 in Proctor, Minnesota.

Tran vs. VFW

2005-03-07T03:31:00.000-06:00

What started as an extra credit assignment for my dear friend Tony Tran for a class at NDSU turned into a Fargo veteran group battling him on the opinion pages of The Fargo Forum.

Tran had to write his opinion and reaction to the recent efforts of the local VFW attempting to repeal the local smoking ban in order to generate more business to the VFW. Going into this all Tran wanted was to get extra credit, he actually didn't even know anything about the VFW. Tran's opinion for extra credit ended up being published in the local major newspaper, The Fargo Forum. A few days later, Mr. Tran saw a published rebuttal in the same newspaper that took Tran's letter only this was from a local VFW member. Lucky for Tran this VFW member appears to be a very staunch conservative, and now Tran walks the streets of Fargo with fear that at any moment a senior citizen could attack him.

Click here to read the letters and witness the worse case scenario that could happen from an extra credit assignment.

My Tattoo

2005-03-07T01:44:00.000-06:00

My New Tattoo

Well, I went through with it. Recently I have been thinking about tattoos and getting my ideal tattoo, which would be the American icon Paul Bunyan and his side kick Babe the Blue Ox. These days, skulls, eagles and barb wire bands are so lame. Friday afternoon I decided to go and get it, and it hurt like hell! It was pretty expensive too, because of all the colors. I won't say exactly how much but I'll just say it was more than $50. Sorry to all of you Winona people who I didn't tell yet. I figured I'd show it off when it was unwrapped and completed. I decided to walk to the tattoo place by myself so that way I don't get distracted or anyone talk me out of it. Hope everyone likes it, because I certainly do. If you don't, Paul Bunyan's ghost will haunt you!

I also wrote a letter to the City of Lake City on Saturday. I posted it below so I invite you to read it and perhaps send your own letter to City of Lake City to advocate for my new idea to improve their town.

Bushism: "It's good to see so many friends here in the Rose Garden. This is our first event in this beautiful spot, and it's appropriate we talk about policy that will affect people's lives in a positive way in such a beautiful, beautiful part of our national--really, our national park system, my guess is you would want to call it." - Washington, DC; February 8, 2001

Today's Exciting But Mundane Activity Jared Did: Took off the wraps from my tattoo. Man did that hurt! But its so damn cool!

Today's Quote from Jared's Roommate, the Nepali named Bishwas: "I'll never forget to lock the doors!" -After watching the new Discovery Channel show called "It Takes A Thief." Its a new show where ex-burglars pick random houses in neighborhoods and then tries to break in and steal as much stuff as they can in order to test the security and ease of breaking into their homes. As the burglars break in, the host sits with the family who owns the house in a van and they watch the house being broken into on closed circuit TV. Its my new favorite show! Click here for the show's website.

Link of the Day: Internet Archive.org A cool website with a lot of cool old school films. Things like WW2 news reels, anti-communism films, this is where I found my Duck & Cover film. Very cool site.

Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated
Nothin' to do and no where to go-o-oh I wanna be sedated

Letter to the City of Lake City

2005-03-05T17:10:00.000-06:00

The following letter was sent by Jared on March, 5 2005 to the City of Lake City:

City of Lake City
205 W. Center Street
Lake City, MN 55041

City of Lake City-

It has come to my attention from various road trips through your great city that you are known as the “Birth Place of Water-Skiing.” To my disappointment, each time I am passing through your city I find no one to be water skiing on Lake Pepin. But I have crafted a wonderful idea to maintain your water-skiing status, and that is to require citizens of your great city to water ski on Lake Pepin at least two separate one hour shifts per year in order to maintain a constant 24 hour water skiing presence on Lake Pepin. This way, when people come to visit or pass through Lake City, they can always see someone water skiing and the claim as “The Birth Place of Water-Skiing” would therefore be strengthened.

As we all know that there are 8,760 hours in a standard calendar year, but according to the United States Census Bureau the population of Lake City as of 2000 is 4,950. In order to maintain a 24 hour/365 day presence on Lake Pepin, each citizen ages 16 and up would be assigned a minimum of two one hour shifts at the beginning of each new year. If citizens below the age of 16 know how to water ski and would like to participate in this fun activity to promote the city, they may do so upon submitting a written request. In the case of some citizens not being able to physically water ski for a number of different reasons, they can be exempted from this upon written request. In the end, with all citizens below the age of 16 replacing the citizens unable to water ski, the 24 hour/365 window should not be a problem to cover. If some citizens are avid water skiing enthusiasts and enjoy water skiing, they can water ski in place of another citizen’s shift. During the hours of the day where there isn’t any light (better known as night time), lights from strategic locations on the shores of Lake Pepin can illuminate the water skiing area. In the winter months a large hole in the iced covered lake can be carved in order prevent damage to boats or water skiers in the water skiing area.

Having a 24 hour/365 day water skiing presence on Lake Pepin can benefit Lake City in numerous ways. It can be a business attraction to generate revenue for the local economy. This plan can also attract a large following of non- Lake City citizens water skiers who notice the citizens of Lake City having fun water skiing constantly and would prompt these outsiders to stay a while and water ski, this also can generate revenue for the local economy and possibly spur population growth for those who decide to make Lake City their home and join the fun. Thank you for your time and cooperation, please inform me of your thoughts or ideas on my plan to maintain Lake City’s title as the “Birth Place of Water-Skiing” and to make Lake City a better place for all.

Sincerely,
Jared Stene
Student

Write your own letter to the City of Lake City to promote and advocated Jared's great idea!

Militant Jared

2005-03-05T03:38:00.000-06:00

2nd Amendment Jared

Fight those damn commies! YEEEAAAAHHHHH! Yes, I need an AK-47 to eliminate Rocky the Squirrel. Then get the RPG for Bambi. RPG stands for Rocket Propelled Grenade for you damn tree huggers. This is probably the most Republican/Hickish picture that is or will ever be taken of me. No, I don't actually think I need an AK-47 or RPGs to hunt wildlife or protect myself from those "damn Yankee Feds and their whirly bird helicopters." I personally become frightened by the 2nd Amendment protection movement in this country. Websites like this tend to scare me/provide entertainment. And yes, I think they should repeal concealed carry in the state of Minnesota in case you haven't noticed it in my entry called "Making Ass of Myself is Fun." The only gun I own now shoots nerf darts, and I plan on keeping it at that. I was just looking over my picture collection and just thought to post this one up, that's actually my real war face. Don't laugh asshole, that's the face of hell on earth! I'd know that if was fighting a gun battle and saw my enemy with that face I'd soil myself.

While on the subject of being "militant" I'm not a fan of Holy Angels right now. They defeated my Titans last night in the Class AA MN State Hockey Tournament semi-final game with a score of 4-2. It was a nice game though I thought, we put up a good fight against a team that should of killed us without mercy. But like typical Tartan fashion, we lost it in the end. Though I have a feeling this might be a start of something good for Tartan Hockey, just need to get over the DWI charges and drug use. In the end, maybe it makes sense to loose to a team called "Holy Angels." I'd think it would be like playing Vatican High School's Fighting Priests. Not a game to use trash talk in, or you might get struck by lighting. For the championship game on Saturday I'm still sticking to my prediction of celebrity actor Burt Reynolds making a special appearance and then single handedly winning the hockey game. Why? Because he's Burt, and that mustache of his can make anyone stop skating and lay down.

Civil Defense

2005-03-04T02:52:00.000-06:00

Cat is reminded to "Duck & Cover" by Burt the Turtle.

Ocho showed me this picture yesterday. Why is this funny to me? I think it's because its late and large amounts of caffeine. I was reminded of the "Duck and Cover" movie that was made back in the 1950's to instruct kids of what to do in a nuclear attack.
"Remember kids, when you see the flash, duck and cover, and do it fast!"
Of course we all know that by ducking and covering ourselves we are protected from being vaporized from a 200 kiloton nuclear weapon. Interested in watching the Duck and Cover video? You can find it in QuickTime format here. It's probably the best quality streaming video I could find on the internet.

MARTHA STEWART IS FREE! Well, just when you thought it was safe to watch "high quality reality tv" (bullshit), Martha Stewart comes back from prison to torture us again with her tv show. I heard that the first episode's title will be titled "Prison: Be Someone's Bitch or Make Someone Your Bitch" Looking forward to the recipes that come out that one.

Let's see what else was in the news, oh yeah, some rich guy few an airplane solo around the world non-stop. I actually watched his landing on CNN, it was interesting but in the end one must ask themselves this: Does anyone really give a shit if some rich mofo flies an airplane around the world? The reason I watched the landing is because I wanted to see if the guy screws up and like lands/crashes like 100 ft from the runway. Now that would be hilarious! The headlines would be this if that happened: "Billionare Fucks Up And Lands 100 ft Short of Flying Around the World" With my luck something like that would happen to me if I tried to fly around the world. It'd play out like this:
Mission Control: Now Jared, you're almost there buddy! Don't screw this up and pay attention!
Pilot Jared: Roger that Control, I'm A-OK for landing!...Hey is that a Caribou Coffee off the port wing?! OH SHIT! I accidentally let go of the controls, and I think I landed. DAMNIT!
Mission Control: Way to go dipshit, you're a natural Charles Lindburgh.

Bushism: "We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor just like you like to be liked yourself." - Financial Times; January 14, 2000

Today's Exciting but Mundane Activity Jared Did: Went to the Horatio Sanz comedy show that was here at WSU. I must say, I enjoyed it. Some people don't like improv but it's funny how absurd it gets quickly.

Link of the Day: Free Martha.org
The official organization set up to advocate for Martha Stewart. I honestly don't know what to make of this.

Ground Control to Major Tom, Ground Control to Major Tom, take your protein pills and put your helmet on.

Administrators Just Don't Understand

2005-03-03T15:12:00.000-06:00

Trying to stop the New U butterfly before takes more of my money for a nonsense plan.

Rick pointed out an interesting article that was posted on the Cyber Indee today, an interview of Carol Anderson talking about the recent No vote in the New U referendum.

The article can be found here on the Cyber Indee Referendum called mostly uninformed

Don't administrators get it?! NO, we don't want to pay an extra $1000 for a program that doesn't make sense and for programs that the majority of the students don't want. The students have strongly voiced their opposition but the administrators aren't listening. They say we don't understand the program, what's there to understand besides the bottom line here? When students try to learn and understand the New U or listen to a presentation their concerns or questions over the $1000 are ignored or not addressed at all. I think its time to start letting them know that no means no and we don't want to pay this.

WSU STUDENTS: Email the New U committee directly and let them know that we don't want to pay $1000 and that changes to the plan are needed: newu@winona.edu

They can't neglect our concerns any longer without consequences. More on this later.

Making Ass of Myself is Fun

2005-03-03T03:59:00.000-06:00

Jared making ass of himself at the Winona Target.

I have recently concluded a scientific study that studied the effects and ways of how I make an ass of myself in public places as well as the ass making ways of other individuals. It has been concluded that making an ass of myself is in fact a fun activity and a natural pass time of Americans everywhere, other subjects of the study agreed with this conclusion. This study then goes on to recommend that any laws that might harm the practice of "making an ass of thyself" should be stricken from state law books in order to prevent injury or death to people who wish to participle in this newly found pass time. Laws in Minnesota, such as the Conceal & Carry statue, could harm ass making citizens by being shot by concealed weapon holders who may mistake these asses as a threat to personal safety. For example, in the photo above, a near by concealed weapon holder could infer that I am about to throw this interior display and harm him or her. But in fact, the real intent was to make an ass of myself. Just something to think about....

Bushism: "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." -US News & World Report; January 3, 2000

Today's Exciting But Mundane Activity Jared Did: Was allowed to take a time saving detour through the Science Hall after walking back from Hardee's with Chris. Butch the Janitor was nice enough to let cut through the Science Hall. Butch then went on to advise us from getting too drunk over the weekend but to have fun.

Link of the Day: Shotgun Golf with Bill Murray by Hunter S. Thompson
A very hilarious piece about a new sport Dr. Hunter S. Thompson created.

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.

Death of a Cell Phone

2005-03-02T00:29:00.000-06:00

Old cell phone found after it dismantled itself after hearing news of being replaced by a young model.

WINONA, Minnesota (SFP & FM)-- Jared's old cell phone has dismantled itself out of grief after it heard the news that it has been replaced by younger, more technologically advanced model. It was found on a desk last Friday evening with a note saying "You'll regret not using me anymore, I rotated damnit!" Jared's new cell phone, a color model Siemens brand phone, could not be reached for a comment after several phone calls. But later put out a statement through it's publicists saying: "....though it is tragic to hear such news about Jared's older phone, I must point out that I am by far cooler because I light up around the edges during incoming calls and have a color display. Besides, people will forget about the older phone in a few weeks anyways." Plans for the casing of the old phone are still being planned. But an anonymous inside associate of Jared indicated that the casing might possibly be placed in the top drawer of his dorm room desk next to the 20 plus empty Altoid tins that currently occupy the space.

Jared's Rant: WHO GIVES TWO SHITS ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON'S TRIAL?! They should put the guy to jail for shitty music after the releasing of his last album. Seriously, we all know he did it, we all know he's not all there, so just put him away and get on with life. If a non-celebrity guy admitted that he likes to sleep in the same bed with children that are not his own just for the hell of it and molested some kids he would of been sleeping in the same bed with a guy named Duke behind bars after 3 weeks from when he was arrested. Just because he's got money and at one point made good music doesn't mean he can get away with creepy crap. Also I am getting sick of all the media hype around the case. "Today defense attorneys for the Michael Jackson trial took a crap in a court house bathroom." There is by far much more important things going on in the world that deserve media coverage than some guy who thinks he's Peter Pan.

Here's a random thought: Wouldn't it be cool to hire your own group of paparazzi? This way you can work out an agreement with your paid paparazzi and in way control what they take pictures of or where they hide so they don't completely scare the shit out of you. Then when you get famous and the evil non-hired-by-you-paparazzi people come and take photos of you brushing your teeth and stuff they can get scared away by your own friendly force of paparazzi who by then will be trained in judo to kick their asses. Everyone's a winner, except for the evil paparazzi who got their asses handed to them by your trained force of judo choppin photo takers. Then later you can use this same force to take over a small island in the eastern Pacific and re-name it Jaredonia, while at the same time have some really good pictures for a kick ass slide show after your retirement. No one will care that you took over a small island because it doesn't have oil on it, and military forces that belong to large capitalist countries won't take you over because of this fact. In the end, this real estate success can be all owed to the fact that you hired your own paparazzi/judo trained force before you became famous.

Bushism: "I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."-Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004

Today's Exciting But Mundane Activity Jared Did: Swore at a math problem about augmented matrices in finite math. Those things are shitty indeed.

Link of the Day: What you are.
Fun thing to play with when you're bored.

We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind, 'cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well they're no friends of mine.

Do Not Stand On The Tracks

2005-02-28T22:18:00.000-06:00

The Red Bull truck we encountered on Hwy. 61

My Amtrak safety guide warned me not to stand on the tracks. Then it showed a picture of a guy in front of a train coming towards him. It looks funny, I took a copy to cherish. The ride back was interesting as always. Accompanying Ken and I back to Winona was a group of 79 people who were coming back from St. Cloud for a national cheerleader tournament. So when I tried to get some coffee in the snack area I was surrounded by elementary aged cheerleaders as they pointed out the vast amounts of graffiti on the walls and bridges and being yelled at by the coach lady on why some of them don't have their uniforms on. Apparently you need your uniform on 24/7 to be in the fascist cheerleading squad. "2, 4, 6, 8, WHO'S RIGHTS ARE WE GOING TO REPRESS TODAY! FASCISTS, FASCISTS, GOOOO FASCISTS! YAY!"

That was random. It's what happens when you think writing in a blog with two mochas in you is a good idea. Anyways, a lady from Chicago thought my new fedora looked nice. Props to that lady with the iPod. From here on out till the end of this semester I would like this period of my life to be referred to as "The Fedora Period." So just a note my staff of biography writers I hired a few months ago.

The picture above is the Red Bull truck that we encountered on the way back home on Hwy. 61. Andrea and Carla kept on road flirting with the guys inside the truck, I just wanted to get some wings. But on Saturday night I ate wontons at the Wok instead with Portz and Travis. We also encountered Rooney, which was probably a big highlight of the weekend.

I'm sad to share the news that Rick Howden was defeated in his bid for Sophomore Senate. Rick ran a great campaign though and is now involved with a leadership position at the Lutheran Campus Center. Rick might possibly run again this spring, but he's still thinking about it. In other WSU election news the New U referendum turned out a strong NO vote to the question of "Should the university implement the New U plan as proposed?" This time a turn out of over 14% validated the current position of the student body, which is by far the highest turn out in recent referendum history. From here the Senate is about to implement a New U Ad Hoc committee, which I intend to serve as an associate senator on, as well as maintain my current associate senator position on the Student Services committee. More news to come soon...

Bushism: "I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically." -Radio-Television Correspondents Association dinner; Washington DC; March 29, 2001

Today's Exciting But Mundane Activity Jared Did: Walked by a whacked out lady who was wearing pink wind pants on campus when walking back from the train station with my baggage. She said "When you have two suitcases it looks like your wife kicked you to the curb!" What the hell was that?! Only in Winona.

Link of the Day: Hazmat suit on eBay

Reading on Hygrometer on Humidor: 71%

I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob.

West Coast Family Member

2005-02-25T00:58:00.000-06:00

Andrea's family representing the West Coast

Andrea's house had this wall that was left blank in their living room. I've always suggested that they painted a mural of their family photo and then add Tupac to it in order to represent the West Coast. I know that I'd want a mural of that in my future home. So I did them a favor and made a new family picture, and modeled it in this living room setting. Hopefully next time I visit there I'll see Tupac keeping it real with her family.

I've just discovered a new pet peeve the other day. You can add it to my list of pet peeves that I wrote in my entry called "Brain Stew." Here at P-L in order to print something from your computer you have to print it to the dorm printer, which is located in the front desk office of the hall. Then when your thing is printed they place it in a basket that sits on the counter, and then you can pick it up. Smooth and easy process right? WRONG! Now one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone decides to declare themselves the "print out police" and sit at the basket and go through every single piece of friggin paper! You can see your print out on the top of the pile they're holding in their hand, but no you can't get at it because they need to find some stupid paper in the big ass stack they thought they printed out but never did because they can't figure out Microsoft Word. Meanwhile you just want to get on with your life and take your International Relations notes with you but the "print out police" person decides to be cute and try to have a conversation with you. No, I don't feel like talking right now, I want my damn print out! If you live in P-L then this probably has happened to you before, and if you see someone being a print out police person, just walk up to them and say "PUT DOWN THOSE PAPERS! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PRINT, GO AWAY!"

Bushism: "I'm not a very good novelist. But it'd make a pretty interesting novel." -Austin, Texas; December 5, 2000

Today's Exciting But Mundane Activity Jared Did: Played with the new College Dem's button maker! That thing is so cool, plus Flynn makes cool noises that goes with it.

Link of the Day: Jared's High School Letters to Snoop Dogg
Back in high school I set the goal of joining Snoop Dogg's posse. So in order to achieve this I decided to start writing him letters. It's didn't work as plan. This is just one of my abandoned websites through out cyber space. Hopefully Stick Figure Pirates & Flying Monkeys won't join that club.

Reading on Hygrometer of Humidor: 75%

NOTE: Jared is going to be home this weekend, so SFP & FM might not be updated till sometime Monday. There may be something over the weekend, maybe not, who knows?! Depends how patient I am with a dial up connection.

Don't Do It

2005-02-25T00:57:00.000-06:00

I had a shirt that said this once.

This is another poster I liked from The Propaganda Remix Project.

Rick and Jared's New Obsession & Campaign Slogan: The Howard Dean Iowa scream. YEEEAAAHHHHHHHH!
Click here to relive that classic memory! Howard Dean still rules by the way.

Young Man, Quit Your Protesting!

2005-02-25T00:56:00.000-06:00

Know your role! 1st Amendment? Never heard of it!

One of my favorite posters that I found at The Propaganda Remix Project. Check it out, they have a lot of cool posters from WWI and WWII edited for today's times. It's very liberal, just to warn you.

This protesting one reminds me of the time back in August '04 when I went to protest Bush's visit in St. Paul at the Xcel Energy Center. I went with Jason, Joe, Tyler, Laura, and others to a protest of Bush/pro-Kerry rally. It was one of my first protests I've attended and it was by far a fun experience. I also knew that my Grandparents were going to the same rally that I was protesting at. Just by luck we noticed them there. I had a chance to wave at them from across the security baracade and Kellogg Blvd, and doing the Grandparent thing they waved back. But soon my Grandma gave me a thumbs down as she walked into the building. It was a hilarious thing to see. So if you ever get a chance to protest or go to a rally for whatever cause, I recommend going because a lot times they can be tons of fun.

Smores anyone?

2005-02-24T01:55:00.000-06:00

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man attempting to attack P-L

I was walking back from the library last night and I noticed a security violation that should of been reported. The Stay Puft Marshmallow man was behind P-L ready to attack, so I quickly took a picture of him. Luck would have it though he was frightened by the flash from my camera and he ran off. Security never noticed, some protection they provide!

WSU STUDENTS: Rick Howden will make a special meet and great appearance in the lower hyphen of Kryzko Commons! During Noon to 1:30 pm stop by the Rick Howden for Senate table and meet the man himself, Rick. Don't forget to grab a sticker while you're there and tell other Sophomores to stop by the table as well. You can vote for Rick by clicking on the WSU Students: Vote button on the top right of this page!

Bushism: "I talked about making the death tax permanent so that Rolf can pass his assets from-to a family member if he so chooses." -After meeting with small-business oweners; O'Fallon, Missouri; March 18, 2002

Today's Exciting But Mundane Activity Jared Did: Watched a video in Mass Media class that was taped of off Fox News about liberal bias in Hollywood. I felt myself getting dumber.

Link of the Day: Baghdad Burning
A blog from a girl in Baghdad, Iraq. An interesting perspective on the war and occupation by US forces in Iraq. No media bias or selection here.

Brain Stew

2005-02-23T02:07:00.000-06:00

Best picture I have ever taken.

I took this picture with a lame piece of crap public education digital camera. Unlike most images on SFP & FM, this isn't modified at all. This was during the tailgating party before the Tartan High School Homecoming game, my senior year. James Havican is the person doing the back flip, and I just managed to hit the shutter release at the right point. James can literally do a flip anywhere off of anything, something I can't do. Well I can probably try it, but injure something like a knee cap.

Sorry, but you caught me on what people call "an off night." Tonight my head has been not clicking right, so in other words, lights are on but no one is home. So I'm just going to write tid bits of things I did tonight.

-Had a mocha
-Went to Wal-Mart with Chris
-Wrote an email to the fine people with the New University committee, I'll share more of this later, when they decided to respond to me. Hopefully sometime during the day on Wednesday.
-Read stuff for classes

Ok here's something, a list of my pet peeves:
-Country music
-Talking during movies (I do this sometimes, only to movies I think are of poor quality, but the times I don't talk, it gets annoying)
-People who think they can rap, even though they are from rural America. Yeah your idol is Eminem, but you failed to remember that you're not him. Also stop doing your "gangsta walk," we all know that rural Minnesota or Wisconsin isn't filled "with playas."
-Use of the cell phone in bathrooms, public or private. That's not right.
-Baristas of coffee houses that don't pack the espresso properly, you get watery espresso if you don't pack it firmly enough.
-Commercials for prescription drugs. Drug companies, please stop using expensive marketing, it just hurts all of us, plus most of us just don't care that there is another pill for impotence or heart burn. Am I the only one to notice a relation between the rise of prescription drug prices and the increased amount of advertising and marketing campaigns?

Bushism: "I thought how proud I am to be standing up beside my dad. Never did it occur to me that he would become the gist for cartoonists." -Newsweek; February 28, 2000

Today's Exciting But Mundane Activity Jared Did: Played Duck Hunt on the old school Nintendo. That game rules.

Link of the Day:
State of Minnesota Too Polite To Ask For Federal Funding

SPECIAL LINK OF THE DAY BONUS!
The Propaganda Remix Project Revamped propaganda posters from WWI & WWII changed for today's times. These things are great!

Pic of Jared's Roommate

2005-02-23T01:01:00.000-06:00

My roommate Bishwas (far left) and myself looking constipated. Also I'm getting bunny ears.

I'm not sure why I didn't post this picture before but, this was taken during a huge snow storm a long time ago outside the student union. Thus the vast amounts of white stuff.

Fun with Snow

2005-02-22T02:05:00.000-06:00

Let's play guess the body part! Hint: It's not the elbow.

We got dumped with snow! Tons of the white stuff, and it wouldn't stop falling. Finally the skies cleared and the creative juices were flowing for some dedicated artists and a poor victim in Prentiss was held hostage outside his window by a giant snow "sculpture." Sad to report though that the Johnson was knocked down now and has been demolished. It was President's Day yesterday so the high schoolers had the day off and the opportunity to tour the campus. So mother's and father's of potential students were blessed with a treat of fine art when they toured Prentiss-Lucas dorm hall. I liked the kid who pointed it out to his Mom and the Mom got agitated and told him not to point it out to his much younger brother. Oh the people we loose to campus tours! I was the person who wished something like that happened when I toured campus, just walking around waiting to see people doing beer bongs or something. Damn those Girl's Gone Wild people and filling young men's minds every where of misconception of campuses. Back during the election I remember tabling for the College Dems and doing the "Send Bush A Pink Slip" letter drive. It was during MEA weekend and tons of tours were going on. Mean while the WSU Greens were holding a rally next to us, it featured a bearded guy on the banjo going on a 10 minute rant about the Bush administration. "It's all BULLSHIT! Yeah, that's right I said BULLSHIT." Oh no! Freedom of speech! Little Jimmy cover your ears now! Sad to say that we lost more potential students that day too. Probably the most dirty looks I got while tabling during the election. Oh, the Election '04 memories...

Bushism: "So thank you for reminding me about the importance of being a good mom and a great volunteer as well." -St. Louis; January 5, 2004

Today's Exciting But Mundane Activity Jared Did: Discussed the possibility of the US military using diarrhea guns with Tony. Think about it, all you have to do is cut the enemy's TP supply and they're screwed!

Today's Quote from Jared's Roommate, the Nepali named Bishwas: "When I read the word "Bushism" I thought it said "Buddhism," then I read like 4 of them and didn't understand what they had to do with Buddhism." -Bishwas explaining his word mix up while reading Stick Figure Pirates & Flying Monkeys. Poor guy! Probably thought I was dissing his religion! Just to get it out there, all religions are cool by me.

Link of the Day: Twenty Three Reasons Plus Ten Dollars (Brandon's Band). Check it out and play some tracks yo! http://www.purevolume.com/twentythreereasonsplustendollars

WSU STUDENTS: Make sure to vote! Read the entry below now!

VOTE OR DIE DIDDY!

2005-02-21T22:17:00.000-06:00

That's right Puffy, elections are starting for WSU! In my opinion, Vote or Die is one of the funniest campaigns slogans ever.

Starting a 8 am on Tuesday Feb. 22 the online polls are opening for elections on two Student Senate positions and on the New U referendum. You can vote by going here:
http://www.winona.edu/studentsenate/elections/

Stick Figure Pirates & Flying Monkeys officially endorses Rick Howden for the Sophomore Student Senate position. So Sophomores remember Rick when you click on the link above and pick a someone who is already fighting for you now! You can find out more info on Rick by clicking on the Rick Howden for WSU Senate link under the Links of Coolness section.

As to the New U, I know without a doubt that I am voting NO to the question. This time the referendum question is simple, Should WSU implement the New University Plan as proposed? I encourage everyone who attends WSU and reading this to at least vote on this no matter what your view is. Last semester's referendum didn't get the required amount of votes needed in order to be considered official, so please take the same minute or so it takes to read this entry and vote on the New U question RIGHT NOW!

This is one of the few opportunities you get to vote on anything in any sort of election so take advantage of it. Then after you vote on this, tell your friends to vote too! But if you're really crafty/bored you can make yourself a "I VOTED" sticker! I'm going to make one out of a yellow post it note and then draw a flying monkey on it, just for the hell of it!

Check Your Oil Winona!

2005-02-20T03:57:00.000-06:00

Eyedea concert

Last night I attended the Eyedea concert at Rascals, and it was by far an interesting experience. Rascal's is a bar located in downtown Winona and its the local music scene stop for all different types of musical acts. But last night it featured Eyedea, an MC/lyricist from Minneapolis who's part of the Rhymesayers group (www.rhymesayers.com). Eyedea is most known for his collaboration with the group Eyedea & Abilities. The show was 18 plus at a bar which usually has 21 plus acts perform, so that created an interesting crowd on hand, not to mention we're in the town of Winona. I saw gangstas, wanna-be gangstas, preppy people, gothic looking people, pot heads, high school seniors, middle aged people, biker looking types, and then people who really dressed up nice but they came from a formal dinner that was on campus earlier that evening. Then I spotted the Willie Nelson look alike guy who hangs out at the Blue Heron coffee shop, then another guy who was probably the most whitest thing ever dancing crazy and yelling "YEAH!!" while sporting a Christmas reindeer sweater. In fact at one point the reindeer guy and Willie Nelson were dancing "hip-hop" with each other, I tried getting video of it but it was dark and you can barely make them out when I edited the piece. I'll try to figure out how to get up on here. So the term normal hip hop crowd didn't apply to this group of unique individuals. I have to admit when I first got there it was a little awkward because there wasn't a ton of people there and people who were there were all 21 and hanging out at the bar. Also a small fight broke out right in front of me. This one biker guy went at it with some college aged guy, they were both drunk. But the biker guy got totally knocked out, college guy decked him and biker guy fell like a tree. He knocked over one of those tall tables and hit his head on a pole near the table, then all the drinks on the table fell on the guy. Then the guy who got knocked out got kicked out of the bar and the guy who decked him didn't, that didn't make sense to me. The other under 21ers near me got freaked out too, they just want to see Eyedea, not get KOed by Mr. Boozey Tyson. After that though the show started and things got better. They had a lot of good opening acts. One of them told us "Check you oil Winona!" In the end it turned out to be a good concert and an interesting experience, thanks to Willie Nelson, reindeer sweater guy, and biker man who got KOed in the "first round."

Bushism: "Iran would be dangerous if they have a nuclear weapon." -Washington DC; June 18, 2003

Link of the Day: Royal Tit Watchers Association http://www.nice-tits.org/ Remember, first impressions of a website can be deceiving.

Results of an Untamed Ocho

2005-02-20T01:36:00.000-06:00

Ocho the Great Unleashed

Last night Ocho the Great ended up in rough shape. At one point he decided to test his interior decorating skills in the 2nd Prentiss Lounge. Martha Stewart eat your heart out, because there's a new name in interior domestication, and that's Ocho. Then Ocho came to my room and tried his hand at magnetic political poetry. He wrote "President liberal fascist an ugly." He said "That's what I think of Bush!" Well said Ocho, well said.

Coolest Automobile Ever Made

2005-02-19T18:00:00.000-06:00

My Dream Car

I was wondering about campus yesterday and I encountered this beautiful piece of machinery, its a van with a cherry picker on it! By far the coolest car ever, I want one of these things. You can take your Hummer just run it off a cliff because you can't trim trees with it. When I saw this yesterday I asked that guy if I can ride in it, he said "No not on Fridays." So then I asked if I can ride it Monday, the man ignored me. One day I will own one these things, and then rig it so that I can drive it from the little basket. Tonight is the Eyedea concert and I plan on attending, hopefully I'll get some pictures. If I do I'll post them on here for sure.

Bushism: "Arbolist...look up the word. I don't know; Maybe I made it up. Anyway, it's an arbo-tree-ist, somebody who knows about trees." -As quoted in USA Today; August 21, 2001

Democrats: Best Ass on Campus

2005-02-18T00:18:00.000-06:00

Club Fair Games at the Democrat booth. Far left, Find the WMD's in Iraq, Middle, Iraq's WMD's, Far right, Anti-Bush administration dart board. (click on picture for larger image)

Today the first annual winter Club Fair was held in the most desolate place in the entire Student Union building. I was there for the entire fair at the College Democrats booth and shared the Democrat's principles to a total of 4 people who visited the booth. It's a good thing our booth was near the hallway or else no one would of stopped by. Soon enough things got desperate at the club fair, it was to the point where we set up tables in the hallway to diverge what little traffic there was and force them to walk through the club fair. But that just pissed off people more when they would walked by really fast through their unwanted detour. The College Dem's booth was by far the best. We had "Find the WMD's in Iraq" game, where we stole sand from the beach volleyball court in P-L (my dorm hall) and put it in a small box with some spoons to dig through the sands of Iraq. Then people would find a small piece of yellow paper at the bottom of the box saying "Oops there are none." Then we set up my anti-Bush administration dart board which seemed to be popular as well. I also enjoyed noticing the College Republicans looking over at our booth every couple minutes and talking while gazing at the booth. "Maybe if we look at their booth and talk about them they won't notice or know we're Democrat bashing, damn dirty liberals" said the crazy College Republican.
You can look at pictures from the club fair and all four of the Democrat booth visitors at this link here: http://photos.yahoo.com/watch_out_for_the_flying_monkeys. Make sure to click on Club Fair.

The Rick Howden '05 campaign is still under way and is starting to gather full steam and positive feed back from the flyers around campus which feature Rick with The Rat Pack (similar to the one in the SFP & FM entry 'The New Rat Pack'), and Rick fighting for the students at Rally Day '05 (the stupid picture one as Rick would like to refer to it as). You can visit the official campaign blog on the newly developed Links of Coolness side bar. I finally got my HTML skills back somewhat. Right now I am in the library or as I would like to call it "The Death Star of Knowledge." You can't make noise in here at all, or else they'll literally shoot you. Well maybe not shoot you, but you'll get embarrassed and either leave or urinate your pants.

Jared's Friday Agenda:
9:40 am- Wake up and frantically get ready for class
10:00 am- Intro to American Politics, start listening to man who sometimes makes a sad clown face during lectures that Ken and I laugh at
10:06 am- Zone out from lecture and think about what I'd be doing if I skipped American Politics, most definitely watch Price is Right
10: 45 am- Look around class room to find a blunt object to hit myself with because I can't listen anymore to this man, oh wait, he's done!
11:00 am - Comparative Political Systems, learn about the UK, actually pay attention because he doesn't make any sad clown faces
12:30 pm- Lunch with Brandon, participate in trash talk about future Madden game where I will be victorious
1:00 pm- Intro to International Relations with Dr. Cook, listen to him be sarcastic and try to fulfill my pledge I made to him on Wednesday where I will annoy him by asking "Is this going to be on the test?" constantly.
1:50 pm- FREEDOM
2:30 pm- MOCHA TIME!
3:00 pm- Start an evening of Madden playing, talking with drunk people and other unforeseen adventures, also look at myself in the mirror on progress to my Facial Hair Restoration project.

Today's Exciting but Mundane Activity Jared Did: Tape things to walls. Duck tape smells funny.

Bushism: "I'm also mindful that man should never try to put words in God's mouth. I mean, we should never ascribe natural disasters or anything else, to God. We are in no way, shape, or form should a human being, play God."-Appearing on ABC's 20/20, Washington D.C., Jan. 14, 2005

Funny fact about the Bushisms: Each time I do a spell check on my entries for this blog, each time the word "Bushism" comes up, it is recommended that I replace it with the word fascism. Isn't that funny?!

Link of the Day: dumbest website ever created by man. Warning: Can cause dumbness, but great for pissing off hung over people.
http://www.hampsterdance.com/classorig.html

Reading on Hygrometer on Humidor: Don't know, can't see it from the library.

I'm paranoid

2005-02-17T00:57:00.000-06:00

The government spy sent to observe my actions and dwelling

Yesterday I was throwing darts at my anti- Bush administration magnetic dart board when I looked out the window and spotted this US Army sergeant who was standing on the smoking corner, having a smoke with a kid/ spying on my room. Yeah "smoking with a kid" like I believe that shit! They read my blog about my anti- Bush rants and sent someone to spy on me. The picture on the right is him "walking away" from the corner. If you notice though he has a note pad and is writing on it, he was writing his spy notes and observations. After seeing this act of espionage I called and deployed my stealth ninja force (Andrea in camo/make up mask) to obtain his notes before he went back to his base. Here's what Mr. Spy Man wrote:

Suspect is currently displaying John Kerry campaign sticker in window, possible violation of Patriot Act.
Suspect spotted me, proceeding to take pictures, another violation of some act written some where I'm sure of.
Weezer rules

The other day in International Relations class, Dr. Cook explained where the Constitution and Declaration of Independence came from:

" ...so we all know that George Washington climbed up Mt. Rushmore and God gave him the Constitution in one hand and the Declaration of Independence in another hand and George came back down and gave them to the American people...."

I was the only one who laughed at this.

Today's Exciting but Mundane Activity Jared Did: Encountered Dr. Cook in Minne Hall while putting up campaign posters for Rick Howden '05 (http://rickwsu.blogspot.com) when he shared us his theory about Fox News. "I bet that if you take a kid who was raised by wolves, and then a kid who was raised watching nothing but Fox News, that the kid raised by wolves will have a better chance of making it than the kid raise by Fox."

Bushism: "I know there's a lot of young ladies who are growing up wondering whether or not they can be champs. And they see the championship teams from USC and University of Portland here, girls who worked hard to get to where they are, and they're wondering about the example they're setting. What is life choices about?" -Washington DC; February 23, 2003

Link of the Day: Bored? Want to watch some funny videos? iFilm's Best "Viral Videos" of 2004. I recommend the Nextel Dance Party commercial, Triumph Comic Insult Dog at Spin Ally, and White House West by Will Ferrel as Bush. http://www.ifilm.com/bigpicture/bestvirals2004

The New Rat Pack

2005-02-16T02:17:00.000-06:00

Oh Sammy! I know, that was a good one!

I am helping out Rick with his new Senate campaign and I made this picture for a flyer that will go around campus. On the flyer itself Dean Martin is where my head is, but I just had to make this version. You can check out Rick's Senate campaign blog here: http://rickwsu.blogspot.com

Today is Assessment Day, which means I can sleep in. Assessment Day is where classes are canceled and you're suposed to go to an orientation class for a little bit and learn how to take a survey. I'm already fluent in the survey taking arts so I'm just skipping the whole class attending step of the process. Happy Assessment Day!

Today's Exciting But Mundane Activity Jared Did: Got my chin rubbed by Liz who just saw my beard-less chin for the first time. Maybe I should re-think the whole all out beard idea.....

Bushims: "One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected." -Los Angeles; September 27, 2000

Link of the Day: You can purchase the world's largest working bear trap on ebay! It's the size of a small child.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=383&item=7133907771&rd=1

Reading on Hygrometer for Humidor: 71%

In the Army Now

2005-02-15T13:51:00.000-06:00

Para-military Andrea

Nursing student by day, stealth mercenary by night. I encountered this last night while in Sheehan Hall. Sometimes you can see multiple female mercenaries in one night if you're lucky.

WSU SOPHOMORES: On February 22 you will be called upon to vote for your next representative in the Student Senate. Stick Figure Pirates & Flying Monkeys is proud to announce it's support of Rick Howden for the up coming Sophomore election. More details to come soon...

The other day I stumbled upon the 1960's singer Phil Ochs. I downloaded the song Outside of a Small Circle of Friends and insantly enjoyed it. You can see the song's lyrics here: http://www.cs.pdx.edu/~trent/ochs/lyrics/small-circle-of-friends.html
Because its an older song its harder to find it for downloading but it can be attainable if you're interested.

Today's Exciting But Mundane Activity Jared Did: This technically happened yesterday but I'll throw it under today's activity. The cafeteria was full and I found a table with two chairs, so I sat down and then later another individual asked he can sit with me. So I said yes and we started talking politics because I told him I was a PR major/ political science minor. It turns out that he attended the same Bush campaign rally that I protested at back in August of 2004. Small world! He seemed like a nice guy too, had a civil conversation on the election, which can be rare for me.

Bushism: "It's your money. You paid for it." -LaCrosse, Wisconsin; October 18, 2000

Link of the Day: Illegal Art exhibit page. This is a collection of "illegal art" done by a group of current artists. The pieces are "illegal" because they feature corporation's logos being manipulated and used with out permission. I personally find the Bert hanging himself one to be cool, in fact its my desktop now.
http://www.illegal-art.org/print/index.html

Reading on Hygrometer of Humidor: 78% Why is it that high?!!

Random Picture

2005-02-14T23:31:00.000-06:00

Political Poetry board in dorm room

It's Monday and I felt like putting up this random picture. This magnetic board is on my closet door in my dorm room. This was a very cool Christmas gift that I recieved from Andrea this year, its political magnetic poetry. When I got the board last week I skipped dinner because I was so into making random sentences against the man. Bishwas liked "your sex puppet is a dirty jackass."

magnetic poetry against the man! one word at a time.

Revolutionary Weekend

2005-02-13T23:43:00.000-06:00

My chin is naked. May The Facial Hair Restoration Project begin!

The following takes place Saturday 8:11 PM, P-L Lobby-
Rick: So what are you going to do tonight Jared?
Jared: GOING TO START THE REVOLUTION! (picks up a chair and almost throws it across the room, then realizes he's making an ass of himself)

A weekend in the life of Jared.
Friday:
The weekend started out with great news that Eyedea from Eyedea & Abilities is going to make a rare small room performance at a 18 plus show at Rascal's this Saturday night. I am about 85% sure that I will be in attendence to see one of the greatest underground MC's, plus he's from Minneapolis. When I hear their album "E & A" I am always reminded of Portz and Tran for some reason, probably because they rock. After dinner I went to Blue Heron for the routine mocha, this time Eva and Tara joined me which was fun. Later that Friday night I was schooled in the ways of Madden football by Brandon, but I will have my revenge soon. YOUR HAY DAY IS ALMOST OVER BRANDON, MARK MY WORDS!
Saturday:
The Saturday started like how every other Saturday starts, waking up at 12:40 pm and franticly showering and dressing so I won't miss brunch which gets done at 1 pm. Most of you are probably thinking this: Why doesn't he just get up and go in his pajamas? Well I can't, I must always shower after I get up, or else my entire ora for the day is thrown off. Example: The day I took the ACTs for the second time I was late and could not shower. Result: Only improving my score by one point. So it's a Jared thing. Then after brunch I spotted this month's winner of the Crazy Winonan of the Month award. When I see him next I am going to give to him his trophy that Spencer suggested giving, which is a hat made out of tin foil. After that I pretty much wasted the day and just chillaxed while avoiding beach volleyball. Some people were playing beach volleyball, and I thought since it was National Knee Dislocation Awareness Day and it was two years to the day I went down playing volleyball that maybe it wasn't a good idea to play. That evening I told Rick I was going to start "The Revolution" but I ended up going to Acoustic Cafe instead, which by the way is one of the offical coffee shops of The Jared Stene Coffee Growers Support (Donate today!). There was a group there called Soule, I enjoyed their sound very much. They sounded like the illigetament sex child of folk and 70's groove that featured two ladies doing crazy 1940's jig dancing. After Acoustic I returned to P-L and hung around intoxicated individuals. During this time Ocho the Great declared his political affiliations to the Constitutional Party and decided to start a blog after being inspired by this one that I am writing in now. You can check out his blog by click here: http://ochomeans8inspanish.blogspot.com/
Sunday:
Shaved my year and a half old chin beard. I am starting The Facial Hair Restoration Project. Brandon has always advised me to shave it off and then start a beard, so after being bored and looking at myself in the mirror I decided to go with it. I will periodically post evidence of my progress as time goes on. That was the weekend, I have re-scheduled the revolution for next Saturday, come join and help out in it! There will be punch and pie.

Today's Exciting But Mundane Activity Jared Did: Had a conversation about Valentine's Day with Sarah. The following was discussed over AIM:
Jared: so what are you doing for the evil day tomorrow?
Sarah: ehhhh i'm not so sure just class bball and probably a girls night full of food and chick flicks :)
Jared: i plan on slaughtering a kitten and sacrafice it to the anti-love gods

Bushism: "It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then." -From a 1994 interview, as quoted in First Son, by Bill Minutaglio

Link of the Day: Check out this Russian version of Barbie, one of the most bizzare toys ever. http://www.dragonmodelsltd.com/html/svetlanamain1.htm

Reading on Hygrometer for Humidor: 71%

My work area

2005-02-13T23:02:00.000-06:00

Jared's hostile work enviroment

WHO CAN HONESTLY WORK ON THIS MESS OF A DESK! Change is needed now! Or just another mocha.

Help out now!

2005-02-11T23:04:00.000-06:00

My charity

I have decided to re-start my charity again. I founded The Jared Stene Coffee Grower's Support back in 2003 to help coffee growers everywhere. Now I feel that I need to once again help these people out. Here's how it works, after you give a very generous donation, Jared uses that donation and spends it at one of the sponsored coffee establishments listed in the offical charity logo. It's a win/win situation for everyone! Coffee growers like Juan (pictured in logo) receives the much needed aid and in turn is able to grow more coffee, and charity founders like Jared (also pictured in logo) can enjoy mochas, lattes and other coffee drinks. So please, find it in your heart to help out now, because my caffiene high is wearing down.

Today's Exciting But Mundane Activity Jared Did: Entered Intro to International Relations Class with Dr. Cook and said "WHOOP WHOOP JARED IN DA HOUSE." Cook stopped his pre- class conversation with a group of students and said "What the hell was that?!" Probably one of the most hilarious/embarassing moments this year at WSU. You can ask Brandon, he witnessed this extreme form of whiteness.

Bushism: "I need to be able to move the right people to the right place at the right time to protect you, and I'm not going to accept a lousy bill out of the United Nations Senate." - South Bend, Indiana; October 31, 2002 The United Nations doesn't have a Senate, for you non-political people.

Link of the Day: http://www.thememoryhole.org

Reading on Hygrometer of Humidor: 74%

WHAT DO WE WANT?!

2005-02-09T23:33:00.000-06:00

On the steps of the capital (2/9/05)

Rally Day 05 turned out to be a fun and successful event. Over 2,000 students from MN state schools showed up in St. Paul to march and rally at the state capital for a freeze on tuition rates. The bill itself (known was H.F. 670) was just introduced in early February and is under going the commitee process. I see did members of the media but I did not notice any air or print time yet on the TV station's websites. Kare 11 at 6 featured another rally at the capital, this was for road construction, the video clip looked liked a bunch of old guys in suits sitting around. It's a shame that more TV media wasn't on hand to feature this tremendous gathering of students. But the fight must go on, and if you happen to read this and are affected by tuition at a state school I strongly urge you to write to your state represenatives and tell him enough is enough and freeze the tuition! If you want to learn more about this you can visit www.tuitionfreeze.org

As a side note, I took over 130 pictures of the march/rally event. Anyone can visit the link below to look at pictures from MOSH Rally and Rally Day 05.
http://photos.yahoo.com/watch_out_for_the_flying_monkeys

Today's Exciting But Mundane Activity Jared Did: Colored my Rally Day sign with sharpie markers. I think I got high, it was weird.

Bushism: "I think war is a dangerous place." -Washington, DC; May 7, 2003

Today's Quote from Jared's Roommate, the Nepali named Bishwas: "That is why when someone asks you if you have a girl friend, you ALWAYS say yes." - after telling me a story on how another international student was hit on by a guy.

Link of the Day: http://www.addictinggames.com/miniputt.html This is the game I play when I am very bored. See if you put a 30 like I did.

Reading on Hygrometer on Humidor: 70% (ideal conditions)

M.O.S.H. It Up!

2005-02-08T20:42:00.000-06:00

March On Somsen Hall Rally (2/8/05)

I attended the MOSH rally today on the steps of Somsen Hall here at Winona State. Can you see me in the picture?! We are pushing for a freeze on tuition for the state of Minnesota. Tomorrow is Rally Day in St. Paul. We are marching to the Captial steps and then holding a rally on the steps and inside the rotunda. Hopefully we'll get some media attention like we did today. Tomorrow look for the guy with the sign that says "PITY THE FOOL WHO RAISES TUITION" and a picture of Mr. T on it, that would be me. If you want to know more you can go to www.tuitionfreeze.org

Crazy Winonan of the Month Award- February

2005-02-07T00:03:00.000-06:00

Crazy Ice Cream Man , notice the foreign students on the corner, they agree that this person is indeed, crazy.

I have created the Crazy Winonan of the Month Award, in order to shed light on crazyness that exists here in the city of Winona. This month I'd like to congratulate this Ice Cream Bike Man. While sitting outside of the Blue Heron coffee house, a couple of my friends and I spotted this man biking down Huff street. At the time it was only 50 degress out, and of course we all know what that means, ice cream! As this man was biking there was also music playing and animal noises that were coming from the ice cream bike. He was wearing a Sponge Bob shirt and sold to one person, who happens to the Crazy Winonan of the Month runner up for February. So congratulations Crazy Ice Cream Man, you deserve it, now can I get a dilly bar?

Today's Exciting But Mundane Activity Jared Did: Sort laundry. I feel a sense of calm while doing laundry. I think its the vapors from the detergent.

Bushism: "Oftentimes, we live in a processed world-you know, people focus on the process and not results." - Washington, DC; May 29, 2003

Link of the Day: www.badgerbadgerbadger.com

Reading on Hygrometer on Humidor: 72%

Weekend In Pictures- Part 3 of 3

2005-02-06T23:20:00.000-06:00

Ocho The Great

Finally to wrap up my weekend in pictures, we have Ocho the Great. Ocho here is enjoying the sweet aroma of strawberry Swisher Sweets, which is something he enjoyed about every 30 seconds, literally. I was also lucky enough to be explained the sport of rugby by Ocho at 1 in the morning on Friday night. Thank you Ocho, rugby makes sense to me now, see you on the field in April.

Weekend In Pictures- Part 2 of 3

2005-02-06T23:09:00.000-06:00

Jared's magic beard finger

This is a picture from walking back from the Accoustic Cafe on Friday night. Brandon here is being adventerous and growing a beard. As a tool of encouragement, I rubbed his chin beard for good luck. This will result in his beard growing at least 8 inches by the end of this week. Grizzly Adams DID have a beard, and now Brandon will too.

Weekend In Pictures- Part 1 of 3

2005-02-06T23:01:00.000-06:00

Jared Ready to Pool it up

This was at the Winona Bowl. I have come dressed for bowling success in my matching wrist and head bands. I paused for this photo op by the pool table and struck a pose that makes me look some what femine. While my performance on the lanes were dismal, Chris, Spencer and I were entertained by the horrific karaoke singers in the bar. Here's a math equation I learned over the weekend that might be useful in life:

BOOZE + KARAOKE MACHINES = PEOPLE MAKING ASSES OF THEMSELVES

Hopefully this piece of useful math will come in handy for your personal entertainment in the future.

Save the Future!

2005-02-04T01:33:00.000-06:00

Our future is turning into oil!

They say these times are divided, Red States vs. Blue States, Liberal vs. Conservative, McDonald's vs. Burger King, but I think a major issue that is drastically under represented in the media and that is the use and production of baby oil. Please, help the future and stop using baby oil so that less babies are used and wasted.

Today's Exciting But Mudane Activity Jared Did: Press the button on my Sponge Bob alram clock, A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA! Holy shit!

Bushism: "This foreign policy stuff is a little fustrating." -As quoted by the New York Daily News; April 23, 2002

Today's Quote from Jared's Roommate, the Nepali named Bishwas: "In India, during Valentine's Day conservatives throw stuff and pelt the Hallmark greeting cards stores and Valentine's stores." -discussing the holiday Valentine's Day (I think people should start doing this here.)

Reading on Hygrometer on Humidor: 68.5%

The Price Is Right!

2005-02-02T01:09:00.000-06:00

Jared on Price Is Right, this could happen one day! (click on picture for larger size)

The best show ever in the history of television since its conception has to be without a doubt The Price Is Right with Bob Barker. If you disagree, I suggest that you stop being a complete bone head and accept the fact that this show rocks. In fact, I think that this show is listed in the dictionary under the definition of television. Take a look below at the definition I pulled from the dictionary.

tel.e.vi.sion (tel'e-vizh'en) n. 1. The Price is Right with Bob Barker, best show ever.

I have been watching this show since I have had a functioning memory. The picture above is what it will look like when some day I go on the show and win big.

Today's Exciting But Mundane Activity Jared Did: Taking my sweet ass time putting on my jacket, scarf and hat during the fire alram. Then grabbing my camera and shuting off the lights and locking my door to go outside.

Bushism: "Now, there are some who would like to rewrite history- revisionist historians is what I like to call them." - Elizabeth, New Jersey; June 6, 2003

P-L Fire Alarm

2005-02-01T23:35:00.000-06:00

P-L is burning!

Ok, so the dorm hall didn't burn down, but it was fun to see everyone's smiling faces outside for a group activity! Thank you people who like to burn food, we will forever remember the memories.

National Knee Dislocation Awareness Day

2005-02-01T01:38:00.000-06:00

This could happen to you!

According the good ol' Bushisms calendar today is the first day of February. There is one very important day in February in which everyone needs to be aware of, and that is National Knee Dislocation Awareness Day. We celebrate this day on February 12, which was the day where I experienced a dislocation myself, in front of a very large crowd of people who then were considered to be my classmates. That day triggered a series of events that forever changed things. So as an act of prevention and of social responsibility to the general public, I have declared February 12 as National Knee Dislocation Awareness Day (NKDAD). The day will be spent walking very slowly, avoid jumping, and for hardcore observers, wearing a knee wrap and/or brace. Also each participate shall inform the public through out the day that it is NKDAD. Remember, watch your step on the 12th! Oh and Valentine's Day is sometime during this month too, but who honestly cares about that holiday?

Today's Exciting But Mundane Activity Jared Did: Setting the date and time on the dorm room's answering machine. It talked back at me!

Bushism: "In other words, I don't think people ought to be compelled to make the decision which they think is best for their family." -Washington, DC; Dec. 11, 2002

Today's Quote from Jared's Roommate, the Nepali named Bishwas: "I don't understand why anyone would do this, you'd get your nuts crushed, they must have a death wish or something." - commenting on the "sport" of bull riding after seeing it on TV

Discussion Dictator

2005-01-29T19:26:00.000-06:00

This semester I am taking three political courses. So I get to do alot of writting and voicing my opinon. For my Intro to International Relations class we started to do an online discussion board about an article that was post on the LA Times. The article pretty much was discussing the revival of neoconservatism. This is a theory in which a countries foreign policy should primarily consist of spreading democracy around the world. Its pretty obvious by now with the war in Iraq that the Bush administration has already partake in this. But his Inaugural speech pretty much reaffirmed things. So in these discussion boards for my class people have been trading their opinions with one another. But I noticed that one person speculated that Bush will not take the US into another war in his next term. I disagreed and told him the following.

Subject: Bush is trying on his flight suit, again

On Wednesday, a monumental press coference occured that just reaffirmed the Bush agenda for the next 4 years. I'll have to disagree with Mr. Cullen's post with his doubts that Bush will not bring the US into another war. On the bloodist day in Iraq since the invasion in 2003, Bush stated this "I firmly planted the flag of liberty for all to see that the United States of America hears their concerns and believes in their aspirations. And I am excited by the challenge and am honored to be able to lead our nation in the quest of this noble goal, which is freeing people in the name of peace." This sound bite alone supports the notion that Bush is a neo-conservative that is operating under the rule of the ends justify the means. On the bloodiest day for the US in Iraq, Bush vaugely mentioned the tragic losses that occured in his remarks, not even words of condonlences or remourse for the families that have suffered lost of life in Iraq. This pretty much tells the American people that Bush is the ends justify the means leader, it doesn't matter to him how much life is lost or how bad of shape the economy is in for as long as his persuit for democracy around the world is completed and that the "Bush legacy" is noted in history books. We are already hearing the reports about special forces groups inside Iran gaining intelengence, and Iran is at the top of every Bush administration offical's list of trouble spots around the world. All I have to say is that the US is going to war again in another country. It's just a matter of time for Bush to jump in his flight suit again and declare "Mission Accomplish" and a good ole "YEE-HAW" on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln. Only this time around his speech will be broadcasted in Farsi, so the Iranians can get an explaination as to why Tehran is a pile of rubble.

Then the guy I was disagreeing with responded with this.

I stand corrected, sir. Good post.

Cheers, Sean

So now people haven't been disagreeing much with me. I feel like I'm the dictator of the discussion board, thats not a cool feeling. Oh well, maybe next time someone will tell me off.

Bubble Hockey

2005-01-29T18:47:00.000-06:00

Bubble hockey machine!

One of the coolest games ever. If you disagree, you're not cool.

Bowling!

2005-01-29T18:46:00.000-06:00

me bowling

This was the highlight of my past week. I didn't steal the shoes this time though. I thought at about it but it was just too risky, maybe next time though. The ones I have now need to be replaced. There are cracks in the leather and a hole at the bottom of the right shoe, can't use them when its wet or snowy out because my socks get wet. The pair I have now I stole from an ally in St. Paul in August. They are a nice pair though, red, blue and grey, go well with jeans. One may wonder how I stole bowling shoes. Well its an easy process. You wear your regular shows out of the ally and you stick the bowling shoes up your pant legs so that the heal of the bowling shoe is resting on the top of your foot. Then you just waddle out of the ally. Also you get a friend of yours who is about 5' 5'' to do a cart wheel in front of the desk as a distraction. Then congratulations to you, you're a proud owner of a great conversation piece. Just be careful not to wear them to another bowling ally. There have been times where I wanted to go bowling and couldn't go because I have bowling shoes on that say "RENTAL" on the side of them. It just looks bad.

The Inauguration- J20

2005-01-25T01:34:00.000-06:00

Chenny snowballed
I was suprised that more snowballs weren't thrown.

Well last Thursday I spent the day watching the Inauguration, even though I strongly disagree and with the person who was being sworn in I still felt that it would be an interesting thing to watch. I was waiting for Dubya to screw up on his speech or for someone to go streaking in the middle of the parade, but none of the likes happened. First of all, I thought the partying and specticle was too much. We have troops overseas who don't have the proper equipment and who are driving around in virtual Purple Heart boxes while in DC Dubya can show off his white man dancing moves at one of the TEN Inaugural balls. That's just too much. The speech Dubya gave pretty much frightened most of the world. Sounded like something straight out of the Cold War era, the Us vs. Them mentality, we need to go after the "Evil Empire" and spread democracy. This is not the foriegn policy that the US needs right now, espesically with the US involved in two wars, both of them getting drastically worse by each day. The protests on that day were interesting and fun to watch, but I was disappointed that more protesters were not allowed in the parade route area. I guess people are afraid to see the full extent of what true democracy is all about. That's what I got from the first day of Bush's second term. It's going to be a long four years and let's just hope that the shit doesn't hit the fan too hard.

It doesn't taste like chicken

2005-01-25T01:20:00.000-06:00

Winona's urban assult vehicle to catch jay walkers.

So they tried making Tator Tot Hot Dish last Sunday night here at WSU. But it was by far the most disgusting things I have ever ate. For months I have been advocating for the tasty meal to be placed on the menu as an alternative to other nasty things our fine food service offers. I requested it on Food Service clipboards passed around at Hall meetings. I even went to great lengths to lobby members of the Food Service commitee to putting Tator Tot Hot Dish on the menu. Then finally alas, my months of work of bickering and blackmailing paid off, Tator Tot Hot Dish was on the menu! So that night I made a direct path straight to the hot dish. But my excitement vanished as soon as I saw the pile of crap they labeled Tator Tot Hot Dish. First of all, there wasn't any Tator Tots. They had under cooked hash browns on top of the hot dish. HASH BROWNS! Then I examined the meat and it was the left over taco meet from Saturday's brunch! Our taco meat comes from Taco Bell, which by far some of the worst meat that I have ever tasted. Let's just say that this meat never agrees with the inside Jared, if you catch my drift. In order to hide this disgusting meat they loaded it with peas. So by far the worse thing I have ever ate here at WSU, so when you visit the "caf" here avoid the Tator Tot Hot Dish in order to maintain a "healthy balance."

Lucky Semester

2005-01-23T14:46:00.000-06:00

Why I'm having a lucky semester

I have a new room mate this semester and his name is Bishwas, he comes from the country Nepal. Don't know where it is? Find an atlas and look it up. Here I'll give you a hint, its in the continent that rhymes with FASIA. Anyways he brought this banner thing and its the 8 lucky signs of budheism and I think its the coolest thing ever. We hung it over my Kramer poster one night and I've been feeling lucky about classes ever since.

But it wasn't so lucky last weekend when I was tricked into drinking urine. It wasn't a fun moment in my life but I feel I should retell my horror story in order to prevent others from falling into the same trap. So I was sitting in my room late Saturday night when I recieved an IM from a friend of mine who happens to be heavily intoxicated. I used to know this kid while I was in the Boy Scouts back in the day and just happen to meet him again here in Winona. So anyways, when this particular person gets drunk he becomes very hilarious and completely out of it. He IMs me and then a minute later shows up in my room, and he was holding a can of mountain dew. Then he informs me that there is vodka in the can with the moutain dew, but he can't really taste it so I should try it and see if I could taste the vodka. So being a good friend I try the contents of the can. I took a decent sip and then I noticed that there wasn't any sign of vodka in it, just very flat and watery moutain dew. The kid leaves my room and gets his sober friends to come into my room. Once everyone was in my room he announced that I tried the mountain dew and couldn't taste any vodka. After that I noticed that people started looking worried, thats when it hit me. I didn't drink mountain dew with vodka. The sober group sent the drunk one out of the room for a minute and then broke the bad news to me. "Dude, we're so sorry. You just had mountain dew with piss in it!" When I heard that I become somewhat irritated, mostly stunned in disbelief by my real life Fear Factor moment. But I had it coming to me, thats what I get for trusting a drunk kid with an open can. So moral of the story: Never drink anything that comes from an open can of "mountain dew", espeically when its coming from a drunk kid.

The First One

2005-01-22T16:42:00.000-06:00

Check this out! I have a blog now. I can now say anything that pops into my head. SCRUMTRULESCENT. Why did I say scrumtrulescent? Because it just poped into my head, see how this works? Oh and soft drinks are called pop, none of this "soda" crap. Being in Minnesota its pop so deal with it. So take your "blubblers", "soda", "caserole" crazy talk and just don't use it. They are called drinking fountains, pop, and hot dishes, get with it. Maybe I should talk about who I am and where I am from. I am a freshman in college attending Winona State University, I am from St. Paul, MN. I like a nice pair of slacks too. I am a Public Relations major and currently persuing a minor in Political Science, but my advisor for PoliSci thinks I should double major and go for Public Administration, still unsure on that but it sounds appealing to me. I am a Democrat and have been a proud one for as long as I can remember, you'll hear me ranting about illogical screw ups this current administration has inflicted upon our great nation. But I'm sure you'll learn more about me and what I stand for as we go along here. I think I'll wrap this one up for today.

Link of the Day: http://raddits.com/phyles/karatechimp.mpg The Karate Chimp
Song Playing Now: Intergalatic by Beastie Boys